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The A-List Dallas Bubbles With Bitchy Energy: Recapping the Premiere

Last night brought us the premiere of The A-List Dallas on the gay-centric network Logo. It's the new edition of a franchise that began in New York City and follows the lives of five gay men and one straight woman in the same social circle. And, unlike its distant second cousin Most Eligible Dallas (finale coming next week!), The A-List Dallas gets this whole reality-show thing right from the get-go.

It absolutely bubbles with bitchy energy.

Logo's justified in branding the show "Housewives With Balls." Since Most Eligible hasn't quite wrapped yet, though, we'll wait until next Tuesday to go deep into The A-List's episodic drama. For now, we'll just give you some introductions and a teaser.

First, we meet Levi, a rodeo-loving gay cowboy who doesn't "live up to any of the usual stereotypes," he brags in cutaway. And then, a curveball: Since he injured himself a few years back and can't do this thing they call rodeo in a competitive capacity, his fallback career is a CFO position for an underwear line. Levi is masculine, adorable and wears 10-gallon hats. But here's what you really need to know about him - he's the dude who somehow makes all of his friends fall deeply in love with him, but can't ever seem to settle down with just one person. He's a player, with a laugh like a hyena on testosterone.

Next up is Taylor, a Christian Republican who owns a fund-raising consulting business. Don't you dare call him a Log Cabin Republican: He's not that easily pegged, he says. Fun facts shared in voiceover: He has the Bible downloaded on his iPad and he once held a job as a chief of staff in the State Legislature. Most importantly, he's got a romantic past with gay-cowboy Levi. ... Let's see, what does this reality show need now? Another young man who wants to be Levi's lovah? Yep:

Enter James, the show's resident alcoholic who fancies himself as a party boy. He openly brags about being a trust-fund baby. He's a pill. "When you look at my American Express account, it kind of reads like an adventure novel," he says in an interview. Five minutes after meeting James, we see him tell some ridiculous friends over cocktails that he actually enjoys performing cunnilingus on women, but would never sleep with one. Not a guy who holds much back.

Ashley works as the straight-woman ally to all of the gents on the show, but she's closest to Taylor because they are from the same small town, and share the same religious beliefs. She's a wedding photographer and videographer with a big curly mess of blond hair that makes her very proud. She's also got a hubby who doesn't mind sharing her with her gaggle of gay friends.

The award for most obnoxious cast member goes to Philip, a personal shopper who calls himself "Dallas' hottest stylist." That matters not, though, because his role on the show is to be a sort of Iago Lite, gossiping about everyone and stirring up shit endlessly. It looks from previews like he's the dude most likely to throw a drink in someone's face. So, sadly, he's necessary.

Last up, we've got Chase, a Dallas native whose ambition for real-estate finance is only trumped by his insane hair. His 'do can make him look like Rihanna, Poindexter from Revenge of the Nerds, or just someone giving an exotic animal a place to nap. Depends on the product he's using.

Without revealing too much about what happens in the second half of the pilot, here's the broad stroke: Taylor wants to dig his conservative claws into Levi for good, but crazy James is also capital-O obsessed with the cowboy. Chase might be a contender for Levi's affections as well. Ashley watches all of this with a mix of amusement and horror. Philip is only happy when bringing all of these unrequited feelings to the surface publicly, making everyone around him miserable. See? Don't you want to watch this? Meet us back here next Tuesday for more.

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Hunter Hauk