10 - Free Horse Poo (top of page)
For Valentine's Day? Am I missing something? Is this an ironic pitch that has gone right over my head? What?
9 - A Golf Cart, Apparently
"WITH COLORED RIBBON AROUND IT" just so your partner is sure it's a Valentine's gift. If you're a golf-mad guy and you're getting this for your wife, it should probably come with a card that says "Be My Caddy.... FOREVER."
8 - A Disgustingly Rude Squirrel
If I got this for Valentine's Day I would probably laugh for about six million years at the innuendo on the acorn.
7 - Nigerian Dwarf Baby Goats
"Dear City-Dwelling Partner - Happy Valentine's! Here is a Nigerian Dwarf Baby Goat. Love you always."
6 - A Valentine's Note From A Lady on Craigslist
Yes. It's the lyrics to a Foreigner song, re-written to be thematic with Valentine's Day. Of course it is. Not strictly a thing you can buy, but so weird I couldn't not post it.