It's a severely underrepresented holiday, this most darling day of haunting. Typically used as a punchline to explain the tragic behavior of those around us ("Did that creep at the bar really suggest a three-way? Well, what do you expect? It is Friday the 13th.") it once held meaning.
There was a point in our lives when every Friday the 13th was a chance for something seriously raw to go down. Reconnect with your inner child demons and do some freaky things today.
Here are five. Now go get 'em, Tiger.
1.) Go to a Haunted House, Out of Season I'll confess: As a child I forced my father to take me to a haunted house. About halfway through my psyche just shattered, screaming followed, then came irrational running. An actor had to put down his chainsaw and escort me to the exit. I've always been ashamed of this -- until I spoke with Todd James, co-creator of Cutting Edge Haunted House.
"We keep tallies on our scare-out board," James assured me. "Last season alone there were 1122 folks who didn't make it through." But if you can muster the courage to champion this World Record holding haunted house, then wild success awaits you. I have it on good authority that the ending consists of a "large tunnel room full of bubbles." (!!!)
Cutting Edge is open tonight from 8 to 10:30 p.m., and will not reopen again until -- wait for it -- Valentine's Day. Find tickets, maps and pictures of awesome people with chain saws here. 2.) Participate in Repo! The Genetic Musical and Rocky Horror Picture Show at The Lakewood Ever feel like you're doing the time warp ... again? Well, grab your latex pants and four dollars for your prop pack cause tonight things are gonna get all theatrical when you find yourself stranded in the middle of nowhere with only a castle for refuge. Jump to the left, and step to the right or you'll be locked out of Frank-N-Furter's in this mandatory participation double-feature. Prop packs are $4 per show, with Repo! The Genetic Musical up first at 10 p.m., followed by Rocky Horror at midnight. Tickets for the pair cost $13. Get 'em at the Lakewood website.
3.) Get a Sick Lucky 13 Tat over at Elm Street Tattoo New to the Lucky 13 Tattoo Marathon? Here's the quick rundown. Swing by the shop, wait in line, then shove your fist in your pocket and yank out a crumpled, rainy-day $20. ($13 dollars for the tattoo, then a $7 mandatory tip) Next point or grunt at your choice of #13 tattoo -- all tattoos in the marathon are variations in font and style of the number 13 and are already designed and laid out for you on templates.
Then sit back and let the endorphins sweep over you as Elm Street Staff commemorate the affair somewhere on your person. And no, I don't want to know where you get your stamp. I'd rather wait and be surprised during some reckless, drunken mattress decision.
The 24-hour tattoo marathon started last night and goes until midnight tonight, so you've still got time to see the full-on nitty gritty, participate in the Bad Tattoo Scavenger Hunt, and catch up with last night's coverage here.
4.) Lurk Around So You Think You Can Dance Auditions With a Bucket of Banana Peels Why the hell not? Isn't that what your First Amendment rights and Friday the 13th are all about? Answer: yep. While you're at it, paint a train tunnel on the side of a brick wall, and watch for falling anvils.
5.) Go See Some Comedians Get Weird During Ad-Libs Improvisational Comedy When old friends reunite either A.) really funny things happen or B.) hookers wind up missing.
Tonight's goal is humor as former Ad-Lib improv companions share a stage for the first time in nine years. Now don't get me wrong; they've been up to stuff. Nobody's been sitting around, letting their brain melt to putty while watching old Jeff Dunham specials on the teevee -- Ad Libs don't roll like that. Instead fate's 12-sided dice scattered them across the country to cause disorder separately through work in television and film. Now they're reunited, and it feels so good.
Stick around for Greg Wilson's stand-up late show; you'll learn scary Friday the 13th stuff, like how an over-sized labia resembles a "sugar glider in flight."
Tickets for Ad-Libs cost $18 and the show starts at 8:30 p.m.; those who stick around can drop another $5 for Greg Wilson's 10:30 show. Everyone else will be charged $15. Tickets, data, and the rest can be yours! Just call 214-754-7050, or Ad-Libs online.