Twitter Toilet Paper: Tired of Social Networking? Flush it.

OMG Jason Timberlake just ate a sandwich #sayitwasareuben.

Wanna c pics of cats?

Lisn to my new podcast about puppets @whocaresthatwascoolsixyearsago

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Support the independent voice of Dallas and help keep the future of Dallas Observer free.

Are you over it yet? Do you wish you could tune it all out and silence the constant updates on your Twitter feed? What would you do with that zen time? (By the way, you have 246 new tweets.) Shitter, the personalized toilet paper printed with selected Twitter updates, has one big idea. Wipe your ass with 'em. Choose your own horrible Tweets, or those of someone you reluctantly follow. Go to getshitter.com and access its app, soon you'll be trolling through every 140 character illumination that you or anyone else has ever posted to the internet abyss -- first you'll realize that nobody is really all that funny, next you'll want to wipe your ass with it.

For $35 dollars via Pay Pal, you'll receive four, 2-ply rolls of the tweet stuff. Next, silence that cell phone, grab five tacos and a big cup of coffee and go have some you time.

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Keep the Dallas Observer Free... Since we started the Dallas Observer, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Dallas, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Dallas with no paywalls.

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Join the Observer community and help support independent local journalism in Dallas.


Join the Observer community and help support independent local journalism in Dallas.