1. Teen Idol
Use the youth's love of you to your advantage. You're a one-man Beatlemania. Before your entire head of hair turns to gray, print some posters with your face on it, find a tour bus and head out on a meet-and-greet tour. These days, teen idols don't have to sing or dance — they just need the fan base. Start a TikTok account to add to the mania and soon you won't be able to walk into a mall without hearing shrieks.2. Mysterious Carpool Dad
Because you've been spending countless hours on the campaign trail, you haven't had the chance to sit in a carpool lane. Now is your time to become El Paso's mysterious carpool dad. The moms will ask one another who you are and what you're about. "So what's the deal with mysterious carpool dad?" they will say to one another. "Is he seeing anyone? No, no, I'm not asking for me, I'm asking for a friend. So, like, what's his deal?"Your edginess will be welcomed because when the kids hear you say "damn" in front of them, they will think it's a sign of respect.
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