Where Should I Hang This Gold Medal?

Hard times call for hard bodies, especially when those glutes are available for less than 50 cents apiece! The Hardcore 3rd Sundays International Revue boasts “30 Dancers for $30 or Less,” and Sunday presents a rousing round of finely oiled gentlemen in leather chaps and cowboy hats. Celebrating the 2012 Summer Olympics, the Revue brings you international artists hailing from around the globe — we’re not fooled by that Stetson, Raiden from France! — for a little Sunday worship (whew, even the Lord rested, fellas). Festivities begin at 7 p.m. in the Plaza De Las Americans Mazatlan Room at 300 East Ledbetter Dr. Tickets start at $10 online at dallasmalerevue.com. The show is for ages 18 and older, and men and kids are not allowed (sorry, boys, “no exceptions!”). Can’t wait for sundown? Reserve an exclusive seat on the Revue’s limo bus (tickets are $60 each, and include a VIP table with a bottle of wine at the main event). As only the Revue can put it, “Ride on and with your favorite Aug. 19 dancer at the same damn time, lol!” Call 817-715-1315 for more details.
Sun., Aug. 19, 7 p.m., 2012
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Brentney Hamilton