You have until 6:30 p.m. to convince your wife that she would be happier with another family. That's when Wife Swap producers will interview potential subjects for next season. The once-popular, then canceled, ABC program has been exhumed, dusted off and sanitized for another go -- but they need fresh talent, and that's where you come in.
Gentlemen: wouldn't you like to know if someone else would be a better mother to your children? Ladies: is a week with a stern Amish dictator exactly what your husband needs to realize how good he has it? Well then, it's time to get all Freaky Friday with your sacred bond and trade lives with another family.
Requirements are minimal. You've got to be a married couple with at least one child age 6 or older living at home. Also, if past Wife Swap episodes have taught us anything it's that you'll be more successful if you:
- Have vero shame - Hoard everything - Live off the land - Believe all bacteria to be beneficial - Drink liquids that have fermented at their own will - Think immunizations are for heathens - Run a snake farm - Exercise extreme religious beliefs - Live out your severe Type A tendencies through your children's extra curricular activities
If you're a total shitbag who hates your wife, bring her and the rest of your family to the ultra classy Mesquite ProRodeo (1818 Rodeo Dr., Mesquite, 75149) tonight, from 6:30 to 9:30 p.m. If you can't make it, call 855-777-SWAP, or email a family photo and description to: WifeSwap@zodiakusa.com.
Keep the Dallas Observer Free... Since we started the Dallas Observer, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Dallas, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Dallas with no paywalls.