Your A-to-Z Guide to ScrewAttack, the Huge Gaming Convention in Dallas This Weekend

Calling all gamers -- old school, new school, of the tabletop and video variety: Hosted by the ScrewAttack network, SGC is back by popular demand after a two-year hiatus.

Short for ScrewAttack Gaming Convention, or Southwestern Gaming Convention if that makes you more comfortable, it's this weekend in Dallas. Here's your A-Z guide of everything you need to know to about SGC.

Adam Sessler OK, I'm there. Do we really need to go through the rest of the alphabet?

Don't miss Saturday for your chance to rub elbows with the executive producer of Rev3Games and former host of G4's X-Play. He'll have an autograph session and participate in two panels. Claim your seats early; these are sure to be popular events.

Brentalfloss The ultimate nerdy lyricist, popular for his parodies of video game songs, will answer your burning questions and even hold a workshop on creating your own geeky game lyrics. You'll leave inspired and with a million chiptunes stuck in your head.

Cosplay Contest This essential element of any every geeky convention takes place on Saturday night. Expect to see all the usual characters but with an extra emphasis on the video game variety. Now taking bets on the number of Tiny Tinas in the Ashly Burch autograph line.

Dance Dance Revolution Before there was Rock Band and Guitar Hero, there was that pioneer of rhythm performance games, Dance Dance Revolution. Dust off your dance shoes, hone your reflexes and show off those mad DDR skills in Saturday's Dance Dance Revolution Tourney.

E3 Mystery Game Attending a gaming convention on the heels of E3 does have some advantages. For example, a mystery game received from a certain publisher at E3 will be one of the many hurdles contestants must overcome in the 7th annual Iron Man of Gaming tourney. If it's "not something we can talk about," you know it's gotta be good.

Family friendly It's a convention about games, so of course there's no age limit. However, children under 10 must be accompanied by a parent or guardian. And try not to get distracted and lose your kid. As a selfish childless person I don't want my panel interrupted with an announcement that the kid in the Sonic the Hedgehog costume is waiting for his parents at the registration booth.

Generations of consoles Thought you'd be missing out on all those hours of gameplay while you actually socialize with real people? No fear -- hundreds of consoles across all generations will be on hand for your casual playing pleasure and tournaments, alike.

Hyatt Regency This is where it all happens: SGC will take up over 80,000 square feet of floor space. Book a room and get special rates when you tell them it's for SGC. Think there will be any in-room late-night game-playing at this thing?

Iron Man of Gaming Tournament Who's the best all-around gamer? Contenders will compete in a variety of games from different genres, but at the end of the weekend only one person can hold the ultimate title.

Next: He's on fire!

Jams (of the NBA variety) With Jason Kidd and Grant hill out of the league, there are no more active players who were featured in this classic arcade and console game. But you can still heat it up with a giant head: NBA Jam is one of a multitude of retro arcade cabinets that will be available to play.

Kickstarted After two successful SGCs in 2010 and 2011, the ScrewAttack community was not happy about the two-year hiatus that followed. So the ScrewAttack crew told their loyal followers to put their money where their mouth is and launched a Kickstarter. Their community stepped up and now we all get to take advantage.

LivingSocial Deal Haven't bought tickets yet? Check out their LivingSocial deal and purchase one-day or three-day passes for super cheap. I know it says Southwest Gaming Convention, but it's the same thing. I promise.

Mega64 Get your sketch comedy fix with the crew from Mega64, who will come bearing secret videos and impromptu laughs. Bring questions and make sure they don't suck because they'll be recording their podcast live.

Not a porn site Seriously, I'm not secretly tricking you into attending some weird sex fetish convention. Want to to know the real history of the ScrewAttack moniker? Think back, way back, to when you played Metroid on your NES. Remember that? What was that special powerup called? Oh yeah ... Screw Attack.

Old school games Retro arcade cabinets, original generation console games, even tabletop board games. You name it, it'll be there. For your gaming pleasure.

Parking Bring cash, not quarters, and don't forget to check out your options before heading out. The cost of parking ranges from $10-$19. Save time and money by taking the DART Rail to Union Station which is connected via underground walkway to the Hyatt Regency Hotel.

Q&As The bread and butter of any convention is the opportunity to see your favorite people in a variety of panels answering your burning questions. If there's someone that you have your heart set on seeing, we recommend claiming your seat at least a few panels beforehand. Check out the schedule, and start planning your weekend now.

Next: Smash'em, Bro

Registration If you dropped the ball and missed your chance to register for badges earlier and you missed out on the awesome LivingSocial deal we mentioned above, onsite registration will be available. You can spend $25 for a day pass or $50 for the whole weekend.

Super Smash Bros Still reeling from the recent announcement of the new Wii U game? Prep for the additions of new Animal Crossing and Mega Man characters by proving you've got what it takes in Friday night's Super Smash Impossible Tourney Brawl on the Wii.

Tiny Tina

Oh, hai! Let me introduce you to my laaady, title character of the popular web series, "

Hey Ash Whatcha Playin'?

" representing girl gamers everywhere, Ashly Burch. Did we mention Ash also lent her voice to your favorite adorable destructive orphan with ADHD? That's right, she's Tiny Tina from Borderlands 2.

Consider this your formal invitation to her latest tea party, bitches. Good plan? Great plan. Nap time!

Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3 Tourney Frank West vs. Ghost Rider. Phoenix Wright head to head with Iron Fist. Firebrand takes on Doctor Strange. Play along or watch as, once again, the Capcom crew competes for top honors against Marvel gang in the latest installment of the cross-brand rivalry with newly added characters. If you haven't played it yet, here's a great opportunity to watch some live game-play.

Vendors A plethora of dealers will be onhand for all of your gaming needs and pleasures. Toys, cartridges, tabletop games, and every other kind of merch you didn't think you needed until just now will be available for purchase. Start saving now or build up your buyer's restraint.

Writer of Borderlands 2 Anthony Burch, the lead writer from Gearbox, will be on hand with the "Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin" crew. He'll participate in autograph sessions and panels where he's expected to spout off on the HAWP web series, writing Borderlands 2 and other randomness.

X-Play Host Did we mention Adam Sessler will be there?

YouTube celebrities YouTube personalities will be running amok in Dallas this weekend. Catch up or do your research on just a few that you expect to see: DarksydePhil, ProJared, the guys from Game Theory and Retroware TV, Noah Antwiler a.k.a. "Spoony" and many, many more!

Zzzzz's What you'll need to catch up on after 72 straight hours of gaming this weekend at SGC. Red Bull not included.

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