One level above the lobby of The Ritz-Carlton in Uptown is 12,000 square feet of pure luxury. The spa and salon here treat you like a revered guest, even if you're just a slob who drove over from your rental in Lower Slobbovia. With a dozen treatment rooms (each with in-room shower), two VIP treatment suites for couples (if you're that lucky) plus "healing waters," dry cedar saunas and eucalyptus steam rooms, this joint is a haven of health, a sanctuary for sagging skin and strained sacroiliacs. Our picks for best treatments: the restorative facial using infusions of pure oxygen pumped right into your complexion and the Texas Eight-Hand Massage. Be sure to arrive an hour or two early to chill in the quiet relaxation room, where complimentary hot tea, Champagne, fruit and tiny cups of nuts and M&Ms are delivered by friendly but not-too-chatty staffers. Lie back and say "aaaaah."