Editor: The days of constant sweat are upon us. Fortunately, Dallas has an especially fine array of pools. Some are easy to find, some are ... less so. Deb Doing Dallas has a way with these things, fortunately, and she'll be leading you on a tour of pretty much every pool you hope to dip a toe in this summer. They're divided into three categories: Hotels, residential and public(ish).
OK, the rules of crashing someone else's home pool are the same rules to being a good guest. Don't be the last one to leave, proceed as though these are your own neighbors, arrive with gifts.
Neighborhood: Cedar Springs
What to wear: Short shorts, no shorter.
What to drink: A Skinny Girl Margarita, because THOSE SHORTS.
Who you will meet: The boys club certainly holds court at Illume but the party is welcoming to all, including the occasional drag queen. Wait, why am I not at this pool every weekend?
Suggested pool toys and accessories: Full face, full hair, the only pool where I can encourage a high heel.
Tips and tricks: Just up your game, whatever it is, just in case you have a drag show to compete with.
Any Power Property Pool
Neighborhood: Mostly Lakewood.
What to wear: There isn't as much urgent need to wear a pool costume (although, why you don't enjoy dressing up in pool costumes is lost on me) since you are basically just hitting up a residential setting, but these pools can be a little pick-up-ish, so singletons, prepare how you may.
What to drink: BYO micheladas. And bring some cash for the paleta man.
Who you will meet: Maybe other people who live at the Power Property of your choice? But probably other folks like you, um, "borrowing" the pool.
Suggested pool toys and accessories: Food and drink and cigarettes. You are crashing someone's home; you need tools for hospitable bartering.
Tips and tricks: Save the gate codes as you gather them, don't overstay your welcome and wait to be properly invited to a night swim. In East Dallas, this is where they frequently are.
Any Uptown Mega-Plex
Neighborhood: Uptown, the very heart of it.
What to wear: Bikinis. Boat shoes. Bro-type stuff. This location has pick-up potential, so if that's what you are after -- prepare aesthetically.
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What to drink: Miller Lite, Tito's vodka.
Who you will meet: Bros. Babes. Bros and Babes.
Suggested pool toys and accessories: A BMW.