Austin City Limits shattered dreams this morning, as every festival eventually must, when it released its schedule for the two-weekend bash. Whereas before excited festival-goers could look at the line-up and think "I'd love to see that one! And that one! Wow, and them!," now they must look at the schedule. As if awakening from a wonderful hallucination into the shattered reality they inhabit, that glorious moment when everything made sense can never be true again. In other words, some of the bands you want to see are going to clash. Some bands are exclusive to either weekend, but none of them are of any real note. Maybe it's time to buy that second weekend pass.
Some obvious clashes will make wearers of thick-set glasses weep. On Friday, Vampire Weekend and the Arctic Monkeys are on at the same time, as are QOTSA and Depeche Mode. Sadly, fun. don't clash with anyone apart from half of Electric Six. On Saturday, you'll have to choose between Passion Pit and Wilco, which is something of a kick in the teeth, although the clash between The Cure and Kings of Leon is easily revolved by simply pretending the Kings of Leon don't exist, a feat I've accomplished for 28 consecutive years now. The saddest choice of all comes on the Sunday night -- Atoms For Peace or Lionel Richie. You cannot take both with you, Dallas. Which one you choose will define you forever.