I have been graced with a 15-year-old son who loves punk and metal. What's a better bonding experience than sharing a moment listening to Iron Maiden or Bad Brains? But when it comes to my 12-year-old daughter, her boy-band, country-pop leanings leave me feeling gleefully out of touch.
Every once in a while, Chloe will surprise me and start digging something I like. The other day, I caught her singing a Fang Island song. But for the most part, it's a steady diet of One Direction, Big Time Rush and Taylor Swift.
So when the idea was brought up to expose our children to albums we love, I immediately thought of Ministry. Al Jourgensen was one of the coolest interviews I've ever gotten to do, and Ministry made two of my favorite albums of the '80s: The Land of Rape and Honey and The Mind is a Terrible Thing to Taste.
Making a 12-year-old listen to Ministry might be considered a form of child abuse, but Chloe agreed to give it a go just to make her old man smile. Here is her track-by-track commentary. For most of the album, she cowered at the end of the couch.
"Stigmata" This song really scared me when I heard it the first time. My daughter's eyes grew wide when she heard it as well.
"They're not really good role models for kids, you know. Is he singing? It sounds like he's dying in hell."
"The Missing" Another one of my faves. Live, this song had a bulldozer effect. I told Chloe about how the first time I saw Ministry changed my life. She was unimpressed.
"In the videos, they all have really bad hair."
"Deity" "In the live video for this song, the singer is wearing a cowboy hat. I thought this was punk rock."
"Golden Dawn" "These guys are going to give me nightmares."
"Destruction" "I can't understand a word they're saying. Do you understand any of it?"
"Hizbollah" "The singer needs a haircut. He is scary looking. The words don't start until a minute and a half into the song, but I like the Egyptian feel of it."
Finally, she liked something!
"The Land of Rape and Honey" "Who writes songs called this? It's cool that they use old tapes and stuff. I bet their shows are really intense."
"You Know What You Are" "The laughing at the beginning is not creepy at all. That's sarcasm, by the way. This one sounds like Halloween."
"I Prefer" "No words can describe this music, except awful."
"Flash Back" "All the songs sound the same. It's all yelling."
"Abortive" "The titles for these songs make no sense. There aren't any real words. That's why I listen to bands like One Direction."