No seriously, get down from there. Escape the swarm of old Hollywood legends mumbling to empty chairs and first ladies reflecting on true love, and head out to these shows this weekend.
Paul Mooney at the Improv of Arlington
If you can handle him, Paul Mooney is a must see. Paul doesn't hold back, and your stomach will hurt from laughing while your jaw is sore from dropping. He'll be at the Improv in Arlington September 8. Tickets are $20 and worth it. Don't say we didn't warn you.
The famous improv comedy troupe from Chicago is doing Dallas this weekend (and until September 30). They didn't even ask Dallas' permission, they're just doing her. And we approve. They're playing every day except Mondays and ticket prices vary depending on the day. Weekends cost a bit more, but it's the weekend. Weekends = more drinks, right? For you early birds, there's a matinee on Saturday and Sunday at 2. They'll be at the Wyly Theatre all month. Don't miss it.
J.R. Brow at Hyena's
Comedian J.R. Brow will be at Hyena's in Dallas Thursday through Saturday. He riffs on childhood, his near-militant father and even brings a guitar on stage. He's dragging goddamn musical equipment on stage, people. Go check him out this weekend, but just don't steal his crayons. Hyena's is located on 75 and Mockingbird Lane inside Mockingbird Station. The show is free on Thursday and $10 on Friday and Saturday.
Dallas Comedy House
Want to take a more active role in your entertainment? Check out the Roadside Couch show at the Dallas Comedy House. Every Friday night, DFW improv comics take a single suggestion from the audience and run with it. Come prepared and try to keep up. Tickets are only $10. Also, every Sunday at 7:30 you can swing by for The Early Show.
And for those of you who prefer the fine art of celluloid, check out the new flick co-produced by Will Ferrell. Bachelorette takes a glimpse inside the reluctantly booze-filled world of a bride who chooses her high school tormentors for bridesmaids. How could Pig Face, as they lovingly called her, ever think anything would go wrong? Starring Kirsten Dunst, Isla Fisher, Lizzy Caplan and Rebel Wilson, Bachelorette hits theaters Friday.