This weekend, live your dream of dressing up as a phallic fruit and consuming way too much vodka by joining the madness at the 4th annual Dallas Banana Bar Crawl. Brought you by the crazy misfits over at Cyanide & Happiness, the fun starts at The Green Room at 8 p.m. An estimated 480 bananas will make their way through downtown Dallas, generating uncoordinated mayhem and uncomfortable side glances throughout the night. Last year, they shut down McKinney Avenue with a conga line. God only knows what's in store this year. At 11 p.m., "turd-rock pioneers" Hey Banana Na will put on a free show at Wit's End with the goal of having every banana chant "shit" as loud as humanly possible.
And, because yours truly can't resist the chance to make a drunken fool of herself, I'll be live-tweeting the entire event, clad in a banana suit. Make sure to follow The Mixmaster on Twitter to keep up with the rowdy yellow crowd. The C&H guys will also be live-tweeting from their specially designated Banana Crawl account. We'll try to be somewhat coherent, but no promises.
The rules, from the event's Facebook page, are as follows:
1. Be a banana.
2. Don't not be a banana.
3. You must be 21 and up unless you want to wait in the streets.
4. This is just for fun, there are NO FREE DRINKS. Rumors of free drinks tend to circulate at banana bar crawls. These rumors aren't true.
5. Have fun and be cool to one another!
The takeaway from this? Don't not be a banana! Like, ever.
The Green Room is located at 2715 Elm St. Wit's End is located at 2724 Elm St.