How did reality TV treat Dallas this year, you might be asking yourself, those around you or your trusted Dallas arts blog. Oh, God. Seriously, why would you ask that? How did Al Roker's bowel movements treat him during his visit to the White House? It's something similar to that.
It's not really about the quality this time. Let's focus on the quantity because reality TV saw plenty of Dallas natives in 2014. And well ... drum roll please ... we can't hear you... OK ... here goes nothing.
Antoinette from Catfish If you've never seen MTV's Catfish, then you're missing out on one hell of a roller coaster ride. It's a spinoff show from the 2010 documentary about people deceiving other people online. In this particular episode, we meet Antoinette, a 21-year-old waitress at Redneck Heaven, who has fallen for some singer/rapper/guy via Instagram. The hosts of the show take her to meet him and surprise -- no, this is an actual surprise -- he was who he said he was. It was a rare thing for the show because typically, it's a 16-year-old gamer dude pretending to be a Maxim model, so the fact everything turned out to be the truth is really unique for the show.
What she's up to now: I don't really know. I saw her in Deep Ellum once with a guy who wasn't her love interest from Catfish and a white husky dog along with them. She was nice. And she tweets things like this:
booty is lonely rn
— Antoinette Cuccia (@antttbaby) December 13, 2014
Nicole Bass from Redneck Island Speaking of rednecks (Remember, Antoinette worked at Redneck Heaven; please pay attention), Nicole Bass appeared on Redneck Island. The show isn't finished airing yet, so we don't know if she out-rednecked the other competitors, but she did teach us the difference between being a redneck and being white trash. What she's up to now: After moving to Nashville, she's back in Texas, where she will most likely be the only redneck working in an accounting firm.
Ben Scott from Bachelor in Paradise Ben Scott first won our hearts caught our attention when he stepped out of the limo to meet Des on her season of The Bachelorette. From there, he's been on a billion and one Bachelor spin-offs, all horrible, and most recently got kicked off Bachelor in Paradise for secretly having a girlfriend back in Dallas and for not taking it all seriously enough. OK, then.
What he's up to now: He opened The Sir, a bar in Uptown earlier this year, but when I last stopped by it had closed. I saw him tending bar recently in another spot.
Marcus Grodd from The Bachelorette He got so close to winning Andi's love. He performed a strip tease for her in Highland Park Village when he took her to his hometown. We were so close to having a hometown hero win The Bachelorette. But then he got sent home, crying all the way. But, he came back for Bachelor in Paradise, where he quickly fell in love with fellow contestant Lacy and proposed. Now they will probably live happily ever after in post-Bachelor world, on the cover of US Weekly annually for the rest of their/our lives.
What he's up to now: He's still engaged to Lacy and now living in California because true love.
Meghan, Leah, and Andrea from I Wanna Marry Harry Ahh, yes, remember this gem? No? Well, Fox probably doesn't want you to remember it either because it was canceled before the first season even ended. They finished the season online, but that requires way too much buffering and patience. This show was a bunch of women competing for a Prince Harry-lookalike's love. They thought it was Prince Harry -- or so they say -- and then were told later they were being duped because reality TV is fun.
What they're up to now: Meghan is now a co-host on The Broadcast, Leah Thom produced a music video and modeled in it, and Andrea was name third runner-up in the 2014 Miss Dallas pageant.
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Luke, Taylor, Reagan, Kelli, and Craig from The Voice North Texas pretty much dominated The Voice this season. Five natives competed on the show, but Craig Wayne Boyd made it all the way to the finale and then won the entire thing. First, he was on coach Blake Shelton's team, then coach Gwen Stefani stole him, and then Blake stole him back, and it was all so difficult on our heartstrings. But Blake finally carried him and his long blonde hair all the way to the winner's circle. Mesquite-born Craig Wayne Boyd is The Voice.
What they're up to now: Trying to recover from PTSCSD (post traumatic singing competition show disorder), but Craig Wayne Boyd is making his talk show rounds and will soon record an album.
We're exhausted but also really excited for reality TV in 2015.