See that? Over there. To your right?
That's not the money you could be saving with GEICO. It's the money you lost last year betting with Richie Whitt.
But, alas, in the spirit of persistence, stubborness and doubling down, we're back at it again in 2009. I owe it to you and myself (and my bookie) to be bigger, bolder and, yes, better than a putrid 7-10 this season.
So much for first impressions. Tony Romo throws touchdowns over 40, 60 and 80 yards - first time that trick's been turned by a Cowboys' quarterback in almost 50 years - and just like that we're in a $1,000 hole.
Not to worry. Like everything else around these parts these days, our debt is engulfed, over-shadowed by Jonestown Coliseum. Back in training camp owner Jerry Jones promised the stadium would lift his team's level of play.
Yeah, an actual, tangible advantage. I'm in.
The Cowboys certainly weren't perfect last week. But neither were the Giants. Only one offensive touchdown. The vaunted running game was so-so.
If Dallas, like it did last week, can win the special teams battle, I look for them not to win this game by 105,000 - but at least three.
I started with a mythical bankroll of $10,000, courtesy of bodog Online Gaming. First of all, because their site is easy to navigate. Second, because they're based in Costa Rica and have had minimal success tracking me down in the past.
I'll analyze games/wagers of local interest each weekend and make a wager every Thursday. With any luck, by Christmas it'll be Ferraris and females for everyone.
STARTING BANKROLL: $10,000
CURRENT BANKROLL: $9,000
SEASON RECORD: 0-1
LAST WEEK: 0-1, -$1,000
THIS WEEK: Cowboys -3 over Giants for $2,000.