Even if European soccer owner Tom Hicks convinced Major League Baseball to inject the same screwy tables that govern soccer into America's pasttime your Texas Rangers wouldn't be a playoff team.
But, alas, they wouldn't be relegated, either.
If baseball were run according to European soccer standards--top teams earning international play (or advancement, in the case of minor league squads), the worst facing relegation to the league below--the woeful Pirates, Orioles and Nats would be playing AAA schedules next season.
Advancing? Sacramento, Louisville and Durham--probably an improvement.
We looked at these unique "standings" a couple months back. Time to see how we wound up.
In this fantasy scenario, the top five major league squads enter into a kind of Champions League, a true World Series with winners from Japan, Canada, Korea, etc. And, as happens occasionally in Europe, a class A team could work its way up to major league status.
Yeah, for you literal-minded folks, this could never happen. Minor League teams are bound to the top clubs. If things were different, though, we'd have races up and down the table. The battle to stay out of the cellar would be just as fascinating as the fight for the league cup.
The final standings:
Major League
(Blue=Champions League; Red=Relegation to AAA)
1. NY Yankees 103-59
2. LA Angels 97-65
3. LA Dodgers 95-67
4. Boston 95-67
5. Philadelphia 93-69
6. Colorado 92-70
7. St. Louis 91-71
8. San Francisco 88-74
9. Florida 87-75
10. Texas 87-75
11. Minnesota 87-76
12. Atlanta 86-76
13. Detroit 86-76
14. Seattle 85-77
15. Tampa Bay 84-78
16. Chicago Cubs 83-78
17. Milwaukee 80-82
18. Chicago Sox 79-83
19. Cincinnati 78-84
20. Oakland 75-87
21. San Diego 75-87
22. Houston 74-88
23. Arizona 70-92
24. NY Mets 70-92
25. Kansas City 65-97
26. Cleveland 65-97
27. Baltimore 64-98
28. Pittsburgh 62-99
29. Washington 59-103
AAA
(Blue=Advance to ML; Red=Relegation to AA)
1. Sacramento 86-57
2. Louisville 84-58
3. Durham 83-61
4. Scranton 81-60
5. Gwinnett 81-63
.....
25. New Orleans 63-80
26. Round Rock 63-81
27. Pawtucket 61-82
28. Portland 60-84
29. Columbus 57-85
30. Buffalo 56-87
AA
(Blue=Advancement to AAA; Red=Relegation to A)
1. Birmingham 92-47
2. Akron 89-53
3. Connecticut 83-59
4. Jacksonville 82-58
5. Midland 78-62
....
24. New Hampshire 64-78
25. Huntsville 63-75
26. Altoona 62-80
27. West Tenn. 62-78
28. Arkansas 61-79
29. Corpus Christi 61-79
30. Binghamton 54-86
A
(Blue=Advancement to AA; Red=Relegation to non-league status)
1. Fort Wayne 94-46
2. San Jose 93-47
3. Wilmington 84-55
4. High Desert 83-57
5. West Michigan 81-59
6. Great Lakes 81-59
7. Peoria 81-57
....
52. Dayton 59-80
53. South Bend 59-78
54. Wisconsin 58-81
55. Beloit 57-83
56. Lancaster 56-84
57. Lakeland 55-75
58. Lansing 54-84
59. Sarasota 54-83
60. Myrtle Beach 53-84
In the non league division there are 40 teams competing.