Just in case your resolve was slipping, or else that scene in The Wolf of Wall Street convinced you that crack is the gateway to fun and untold riches, we bring you the cautionary tale of Joel Flores.
Flores, 36, and another man had were "kickin' it" on Saturday night at a home in West Dallas. The man left for several hours, then came back at around 3:30 a.m. Sunday asking that Flores drive him to go score some crack. They found some crack, smoked it, parted ways, and that seemed to be that.
It wasn't. Early on Sunday afternoon, Flores' crack-smoking buddy returned, this time in a foul mood.
"You owe me fuckin' $250, motherfucker, and I want my money now!" he screamed as he banged on Flores' door, according to police.
Flores refused. He told the man he didn't owe any money and that he didn't have any cash.
The men began to fight, at which point Flores' adversary produced a meat thermometer. Police don't speculate on why the man was carrying a meat thermometer (Maybe he was cooking a pot roast?), but the reporting officer is careful to note that it's the type of thermometer typically "used for gauging the heat on cooked turkeys and meats."
The man lunged at Flores with the thermometer, wielding it much as some murderers handle ice picks, and tried to stab him in the face, neck, and torso while insisting repeatedly that "I'm going to kill you."
Flores disengaged and ran to a neighbor's house to call police while his thermometer-wielding attacker threw bricks through his windshield and screamed after him, "I'm gonna kill you, puto, if I see you on the streets." He was gone by the time police arrived.
Send your story tips to the author, Eric Nicholson.