By now, surely you've seen the video of two women, one in horrid fringe boots, hurling homophobic and racist remarks at Jeffrey Liles, the bedreadlocked creative director of The Kessler, after last week's Lee Ann Womack show. After thousands of views and even more hot takes on the situation, we've finally all settled back into making fun of University Park more broadly instead of just these two ladies.
But Zoli's, the Bishop Arts pizza joint that hates ranch and loves controversy, isn't over it just yet. You may have seen the "No Fringe Boots In The Hood" sign that owner Jay Jerrier put up a few days ago, but now he's taken it one step further, dedicating an entire pizza to the two drunken women who became local celebrities after acting like jackasses at a local show.
The "Normal White Girl" is Zoli's usual New York-style white pie, only gussied up a little bit. In addition to the ricotta and garlic, you'll find every basic bitch ingredient imaginable, including grilled chicken, zucchini, spinach, and goat cheese. The New York-style White pie at Zoli's definitely didn't need to be improved, but the addition of fresh veggies and grilled chicken is totally University Park, and totally delicious.
In a post on the Zoli's Facebook page yesterday, Jerrier, or whoever is in charge of their cheeky social media presence, wrote "Give us your tired, your poor, your dreadlocked, your lez-beans, but please, no fringe boots in the hood." While we agree with his sentiments, it's worth noting that Zoli's has an uncanny ability to capitalize on controversy. Remember the $1,000 bottle of ranch?
No word yet on whether or not the "Normal White Girl" will stick around at Zoli's, but we're pretty disappointed that he didn't put it on a gluten-free crust, in true normal white girl fashion. We also don't see anything about these ingredients being organic, yet another normal white girl requirement. Perhaps the next pie we'll see will be topped with Starbucks, yoga pants and keys to a Toyota Highlander.