Go to Town on This: TJ's Seafood & Chill

TJ's Seafood is now offering a chilled seafood tower with an amazing name: Meet the Seafood & Chill. For a mere $115, this stacks-on-stacks-on-stacks chilled seafood tower can be yours. Did I hear you say, "That sounds expensive"? Whatever. $115 is less than you paid for gas this year. It's...

By Alice Laussade

February 11, 2016

[
        {
          "name": "Air - MediumRectangle - Inline Content - Mobile Display Size",
          "component": "18855504",
          "insertPoint": "2",
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "2"
        },{
          "name": "Editor Picks",
          "component": "17105533",
          "insertPoint": "4",
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "1"
        },{
          "name": "Inline Links",
          "component": "18349797",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 8,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "7",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        },{
          "name": "Air - MediumRectangle - Combo - Inline Content",
          "component": "17105532",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 8,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "7",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        },{
          "name": "Inline Links",
          "component": "18349797",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 12,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "11",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        },{
          "name": "Air - Leaderboard Tower - Combo - Inline Content",
          "component": "17105535",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 12,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "11",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        }
      ]

TJ's Seafood is now offering a chilled seafood tower with an amazing name: Meet the Seafood & Chill.

For a mere $115, this stacks-on-stacks-on-stacks chilled seafood tower can be yours. Did I hear you say, "That sounds expensive"? Whatever. $115 is less than you paid for gas this year. It's only like 30 McDonald's quarter-pounder with cheese extra value meals. For $115, you can only get 23 Venti, skinny, no-whip Iced Caramel Macchiatos. If you tried to rent a yacht with $115, the yacht guy would laugh in your face. Like, directly into your face. $115 is not even close to like half of one respectable pair of Kate Spades. And Kate Spades don't come with mother-boning dipping sauce, last time I checked. $115 is perfectly reasonable for the three-stories high boatload of holy craps you are about to be served.

If you don't want it, fine. If you do, BEHOLD THE AWESOME LIST OF THE TJ'S SEAFOOD & CHILL'S MANY OFFERINGS:

Seven jumbo shrimp
Jumbo lump crab cocktail
Jumbo inability to see your tablemates through your platter
Mega high fives
Ahi tuna poke with plantain chips
Steamed Maine lobster
Implied opulence
8 premium East Coast oysters on half shell
One loud slap in the face of The Joneses
Eight littleneck clams
Five side-eyes from jealous onlookers
12 Prince Edward Island mussels
Four to six Instagram posts with the "100" emoji
45-minute dipping sauce orgy
Optional makeout sesh with lobster face

Get yourself to TJ's on Royal Lane and order one of these suckers immediately. And, to be on the safe side this Valentine's season, if anyone offers to Seafood & Chill with you, ask them if this is what they mean before you say, "DEFINITELY."

TJ's Seafood Market & Grill, 6025 Royal Lane., tjsseafood.com

Become A Member

BEFORE YOU GO...
Can you help us continue to share our stories? Since the beginning, Dallas Observer has been defined as the free, independent voice of Dallas — and we'd like to keep it that way. Our members allow us to continue offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food, and culture with no paywalls.

Alice Laussade writes about food, kids, music, and anything else she finds to be completely ridiculous. She created and hosts the Dallas event, Meat Fight, which is a barbecue competition and fundraiser that benefits the National MS Society. Last year, the event raised $100,000 for people living with MS, and 750 people could be seen shoving sausage links into their faces. And one time, she won a James Beard Award for Humor in Writing. That was pretty cool.

Contact: Alice Laussade