Cowtown Is Getting an 'Adult Playground' With Dog Park, Beer Garden, Rooftop Bar

Apparently, good food and drinks and attentive service aren't enough in 2018 — you need stuff. Not normal restaurant things like TVs for the big game or purse hooks under the bar, oh, no. You need amenities: mini golf, an arcade, a stage for live music, a beer garden, a dog park, a massive rooftop patio overlooking an urban skyline.

A new concept called the Yard is bringing every single one of those things to Cowtown, according to a press release, and it's ... a lot.

"Fort Worth will soon be home to a one-of-a-kind 'come as you are' concept that will feature an adult playground, private karaoke room, large state-of-the-art stage for local and national touring acts, multi-level balconies with views of the stage, a beer garden offering over 70 brews and a Texas-sized rooftop patio with views of the downtown Fort Worth skyline," according to a press release.

"Because adults deserve a playground, too, the Yard will have an adult arcade with games such as Hypershoot Basketball and Lane Master Bowling, pingpong tables and a miniature golf course (available to guests at no additional charge)," the release reads. "All the fun and games are sure to work up an appetite, so a regularly rotating fleet of food trucks will always be on hand to serve up great eats in the beer garden."

The 18,000-square-foot complex will also have a fenced-in dog park with "dog toys, chews and a special doggie menu available for pups of all shapes and sizes," according to the release.

So, essentially, a bar and restaurant disguised as a miniature theme park. And since the Yard will be able to hold 1,500 people at a time, it's liable to feel an awful lot like a theme park, too.

The concept opens next month at 3017 Morton St. and will be open from 11 a.m. to 2 a.m. daily. Will the food and drinks actually be good? Will it even matter? Is our inability to just eat a damn sandwich and drink a beer while making conversation with people we love a sign that the end-times are near?

Let's get together at an "adult playground" and scream overtop live Texas country music while we debate the answer. Or we can just, you know, go to a regular bar.