Don't Watch That, Watch This

Goodbye, Lauren B. — You're in Arie Luyendyk Jr.'s Hands Now

courtesy ABC
Good luck, Lauren B.
Just when you thought you were safe in your own home, the finale of The Bachelor took a dramatic turn. Before you knew it, you were frantically tweeting about how upset you were. The man you grew to love over the past six weeks wasn't who you thought he was. He fell in love with two women, yet promised his life to one, yet still thought about the other. His actions were affecting everyone. You, Becca K., his fiancee Lauren B., his runner-up, but mainly you.

But wait! Let's backtrack. Monday night, all of America, and America's husbands, watched Bachelor Arie Luyendyk Jr., without a tear in his eye, say goodbye to Dallas' Lauren B. Even though he loved Lauren B., he was scared of Lauren B. So he proposed to Becca K., the publicist from Minnesota.

But wait! He's proposed to Becca K., and there's still an hour left of this damn show, you thought to yourself, accidentally saying it out loud, waking the children. Things don't feel right.

That's because something wasn't right. Soon, you were watching Luyendyk, again without a tear in his eye, break up with the woman he just promised to choose every day for the rest of his life. There were no edits. It was in real time. It was raw. It was emotional. It felt like we were spying on two people. But we watched.

Luyendyk wanted Lauren B. back. He wanted Dallas tech salesperson Lauren B. back.

But wait more! What about Lauren B.? Doesn't she get a say in this? Does she even want him back? Luyendyk just broke up with a woman on national television. Surely, our sweet, blonde Lauren B. won't trust that kind of man, you said, now screaming at the television.

Chris Harrison told you we would all have to wait to see until the next day. You barely slept thinking about it all night. You wrestled with all the possibilities with your co-workers. They didn't know. You told your husband you were worried about Lauren B.'s heart. He didn't care. You asked the hibachi chef at Benihana what he thought about it all. He provided a heart-shaped platter of fried rice — a more solid promise than Luyendyk's. Would Dallas lose our sweet and quiet Lauren B. to fickle Luyendyk?

We would. And we did. Tuesday night, we watched Luyendyk run back into Lauren B.'s open arms. Lauren B. told host Harrison she planned to move to Arizona to be with Luyendyk. Luyendyk got down on bended knee for the second time in three months and proposed. And she said yes.

Good luck, Lauren B. You're in Arizona's — and Luyendyk's — hands, now.