Sorry, But McDonald's Mango Pineapple Smoothie is Pure Bliss

It was served full, to the top. But you should make room for a shot or two of rum.
Lauren Drewes Daniels
It was served full, to the top. But you should make room for a shot or two of rum.
We're very supportive of handcrafted cocktails infused with unicorn horn essence tenderly shaken by a mild-mannered full-sleeve-tatts bartender. Same for boba tea, slushes, Dole whip and horchata. Wonderful locally crafted ice-cold drinks and cocktails are replete in North Texas and love them all.

But sometimes you just want to pull through a drive-thru and treat yourself to a high-calorie junk bomb. With the too-hot-too-soon temperatures and three more months staring us down like a sweaty UFC fighter, McDonald's Mango Pineapple Smoothie is the cheap date we all need right now. It's dreamy. People always ask, "What's good?" and it's hard to say, "McDonald's!" but, guys, it's that good.

From their website, this seasonal elixir is made from fruit juices and purees such as mango and pineapple, blended with low-fat yogurt and ice. The mixture is a perfect ratio of ice and cream, generating a light drink with just enough dairy to give it texture, but not overwhelm it. And, no, it doesn't use their oft-broken soft-serve machine. It tastes like the exotic beach vacation we're not taking again this year.

If you're feeling ambitious, take your Yetti tumbler and transfer it so you can take it home (and keep it cold) and bless it with Tajin. Or, even better, add a shot of banana rum or dark rum. Or Both. Yes, please.
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Low key longtime summer treat.
Lauren Drewes Daniels
In more news of underrated drinks, Jack in the Box's humble iced coffee is stoic. It's s a simple blend of coffee and melted soft serve and is nothing short of wonderful. Here again, a shot of any liquor that pairs well with coffee would be a wonderful bonus.

Another popular summertime treat is Chic-fil-A's Frosted Lemonade, which is their elixir-like lemonade "hand-spun" with their proprietary Icedream┬« dessert, a soft-serve that is used for seasonal drinks or swirled in a cone. You can also get this made with their diet lemonade but with the calorie commitment to the Icedream this seems silly. And, vodka, obviously.