Born to Run

Just because you're too old for the SATs doesn't mean you should stop honing those problem-solving skills. Gotta keep your mind sharp to ward off old Father Time, right? Don't worry, because in today's installment of "Night & Day Makes You a Better Person," we offer up a quiz: Read the list and pick out the real entry from the fakes. Today's category is "ironic fund-raisers." Which is real? "Jingle Bell Run for Arthritis," "The American Heart Association's Pie Eating Contest," "Parkland Hospital's Jump Rope for Amputees," "Community Jewish Center's 4th Annual Pork Roast" or "The Anheuser-Busch MADD for Fund Raising Pledge Drive"? We're assuming you guessed correctly. Sure, the Jingle Bell Run may be the least sadistic of the choices, but the irony is still pretty blatant. Even so, the event is for a good cause, so those whose knees are able should trek out to Fort Worth's Sundance Square (downtown at Fourth and Main streets) on Saturday for the run, which begins at 5 p.m. with the one-mile Elf Run. After the race, enjoy free snacks and beer. That's right: We all know there's no better way to end a sweaty 5K run than with a tall glass of sweet beer. Entry is $20 in advance; call 817-820-0635. And don't forget the BENGAY. --Sam Machkovech

Shoot Out
Four schools dunk for a cure
Enough of this college football bullshit already. Watching Oklahoma march through a bunch of schlubs on its way to a national championship long ago grew tiresome. And I don't care what any of my half-wit friends say. The Sooners ran up the score on Texas A&M. I mean, how can they score 77 more points than their opponents and not have run it up? But I digress. See, what people in Big 12 country often don't understand is that, regardless of the latest hot topic, football is still little more than an appetizer to temporarily sate a sports fan's hunger. The real meal is college basketball. And, in this case, gluttony is acceptable. That is, watching the Hoops for Cure Championship at Southern Methodist University's Moody Coliseum will help benefit the Susan G. Komen Foundation. On November 28 and November 29, four teams--SMU, UTA, Texas Tech and Michigan--will battle it out on the hardwood for your enjoyment. Ticket prices range from $5 to $12, and games on both days begin at 5 p.m. Call 214-768-4263. --John Gonzalez

Day Tripper
I used to go running every day. Then I stopped, partly because I found drugs and alcohol, mainly because I smartened up. Why run when you can drive? But for those of you who are into that sort of self-abuse, there's the Ultracentric 24- and 48-hour runs. On Friday, the 48-hour race will begin at 10 a.m. On Saturday will be the 24-hour race, also at 10 a.m. Both events are at the Greenhill School Sports Complex, 4141 Spring Valley Road, Addison. Entry fees are $40 to $90. Call 214-566-0415. --John Gonzalez

Star Struck
Idle hands are the Devils' playthings
At her recent concert appearance, one of the band members for country-music fashion model Shania Twain asked the audience something to the effect of, "How 'bout them Stars!?" How about them indeed. A few years ago, they played the New Jersey Devils for the Stanley Cup championship. Now they can't win a game. What's the problem with the Stars, besides the fact that Marty Turco can't stop the puck and the defense is porous? Mike Modano says he was in an early-season funk because of financial difficulties. Oh. Really. Nice. Lemme check something here. Yup. Ahem: HE MAKES $9 MILLION A YEAR! Go see them play the (still good) Devils on Friday at 7:30 p.m. at American Airlines Center and remind him of this. Call 214-GO-STARS. --Eric Celeste