Head hunting

Buzz was ecstatic that DISD Superintendent Waldemar Rojas (SWR) wasn't fired last week. We don't care that SWR appears to be borderline certifiable, or that he's helping to further screw up one already twisted school district, because we home-school our little brats. ("You call that a pony? Go to your room!") Buzz does care that we have to have enough words to fill in this shaded column every week, and SWR makes that job easy.

But Buzz also realizes a lost cause when we see one, and our one-man "Save SWR" campaign is about as popular as Laura Miller at a Perot family picnic. One of the best totally unconfirmed rumors (Buzz's favorite kind) was that, after the school board decided not to decide whether to fire him, SWR had agreed to leave if and when somebody finds him a good job--allowing Rojas to leave "with dignity." (He brought some with him?)

If he gets the boot, it will make two major American cities that couldn't slam the door fast enough behind him, which makes finding him a proper sinecure a tall order. But, to show thanks for all the great Buzz-worthy items SWR has supplied in his brief tenure, we sent a request down to the Department of Buzz Resources to help him find a gig.

Given the style Rojas showed in dealing with school principals, Buzz Resources suggested that SWR put in for the position of Superintendent of Animal Disposition at the Armour Swift Eckrich packing plant. Given his performance in the famous "tin cup" press conference, it is suggested he apply to be the Superintendent of Wit and Wisdom, Atlanta Braves Relief Pitchers Division. Perhaps the best fit was Superintendent of Media Relations for the Dallas Mavericks. After all, Mark Cuban always has the "help wanted" sign out, and Cuban would then have access to a former insider who can help him enact his save DISD plan: at every school, one principal, 14 assistant principals.

Before any job-hunting gets under way, though, trustees have to stop smoldering about comments aimed their way by none other than Mayor Ron Kirk. Two days before the meeting was canceled, Kirk railed on the school board to WFAA-Channel 8. "It's time for the community to say to the board, 'You have failed, and you have failed miserably.' Every member of that board that would vote to ask him to resign ought to tender their resignation to the people of Dallas and step aside and say, 'Obviously, we don't have the skills to hire a superintendent.'"

Board members were floored. As trustee Lois Parrott tells Buzz: "What would he do if every time he asked for information on the city budget, [city manager] Ted Benavides told him to go to hell?" Top trustee Roxan Staff was more diplomatic. "He's a taxpayer and a person with children in the Dallas public schools, so he wants the same things we do," she says, nonetheless agreeing in principle that Kirk should stay off DISD turf. "I'll let him worry about the topless bars on Northwest Highway," she says, "and I'll worry about the Dallas public schools."

Compiled from staff reports by Eric Celeste