Did Ray Hunt support Mandela?
We learn more about Mayor Ron Kirk every day. Last week, for instance, the mayor, who announced he would lead a trade mission to South Africa, told The Dallas Morning News, "I cannot escape the symbolic parallels of being the first African-American mayor of Dallas and Nelson Mandela's rise to power."

Hmm...for some reason, our biographical information on Kirk doesn't indicate he was a political prisoner for 27 years before his election. We're still checking to see if Mandela, like Kirk, was a lobbyist for the liquor industry.

Considering his recent opposition to sending troops to Bosnia, Buzz cannot escape the parallels between Senator Phil Gramm and--who else?--Gandhi.

Stern's static
Repeated calls to Howard Stern's publicist, agent, and even to his toady Ba-Ba-Booey have yielded zip to explain why the shock jock stiffed his Dallas fans at a book signing scheduled last week. In his only comment on the cancellation, Stern melodramatically claimed the Texas attorney general's office had "warned" him that his visit might result in a riot. But A.G. spokesman Ward Tisdale says his office was unaware of any Selena-related threats until Stern's people called. The A.G. never advised him not to come. "He knows how to get some publicity, doesn't he?" Tisdale says.

Buzz found it amusingly hypocritical how Howard ranted during his Thursday morning broadcast against the The New York Times for not giving his book the top spot on its best-seller list. In what he claimed was a strategy to make the mess just go away, the Times had failed to respond to his questions.

Gee, Howard, isn't it obvious that Dan Morales gave them a call?

Back to the future with Mr. Stanley
Is it just Buzz, or has everyone noticed that Stanley Marcus' column in the News has seemed, well, disoriented?

Last week, the gigitarian heir of Neiman Marcus wrote that he visited several Texas cities that "have not been on my path for some time." One was Fort Worth! Its downtown development "bowled" him over. But he was most amazed by Austin, "which has evolved into a busy and exciting metropolis." With indoor plumbing, we might add.

A kinky demographic
Remember that scene in The Shining where Jack Nicholson embraces a young beauty in the bathtub--and she turns out to be a decomposing crone?

The scene (not to mention the reflexive shudder) came to mind when Buzz saw the billboard on eastbound I-30 for The Chateau nude-modeling club. (Helpful tip to topless joints: If you can't find an artist who has a rudimentary grasp of portraiture, stick to airplane banners.) At first blush, we assumed this hideous rendering of a scantily clad babe was an aesthetic failing. But we had to at least consider the people-are-always-far-sicker-than-you-can-imagine axiom: Could a hint of necrophilia pack a "gentlemen's club