You can skedaddle, but you can't hide
Keeping up with Dallas' Jet Set can be a chore. Take the Crow family. When its members aren't smuggling the treasury minister for a murderous dictator into town [see "The Crow-Qadhafi Connection," December 1994], they're cavorting with the uncreme de la creme of West Coast society.

Bob Crow, an heir to Trammell Crow's real estate empire, has been romantically linked (such a tasteful word) with Hollywood hooker Heidi Fleiss. During Fleiss' August trial for conspiracy, tax evasion, and money laundering, Bobby's name emerged along with such luminaries as Sidney Shlenker, former owner of the Denver Nuggets; Australian billionaire Kerry Packer; and, of course, class act and government stoolie Charlie Sheen.

The mega-developer's son explained his connection with Fleiss to the Los Angeles Times: "We knew each other pretty well--frankly I had a little romantic interest in Heidi at one time, but she is sort of a businesswoman.

"I haven't seen her in months," he added, sliding into a charming aw-shucks Texas accent. "I gotta skedaddle now."

As one juror put it, "If they got [Fleiss], then I thought they might as well get the johns. In my heart, I felt like it wasn't just her...The johns were really the biggest part."

Perhaps so. But that's just not the way the world works--especially with these johns.

Just don't haul fertilizer
The Texas Supreme Court is taking its sweet time in ruling on the $9.5-million settlement in the GM truck case--which, for 600,000 Texas truck owners, would mean a measly $1,000 coupon good toward a new GM product. Plaintiffs' lawyers, who hope to walk off with millions, have been arguing that the placement of the gas tanks outside the frame in certain GM pickups can be catastrophic in the event of a collision.

At least one Dallas driver has put his solution to the problem on his pickup's rear bumper: STEER CLEAR: GM FIREBOMB.

The most satisfying Buzz you'll ever read!
Film critic Matt Seitz, soon to be departing the Observer for the Newark, New Jersey Star-Ledger, has had the singular honor of winning a Gary Award from the entertainment trade rag Variety.

The Garys, named for blurbophile film maven Gary Franklin, are salutes to the most egregious, over-the-top movie-ad blurbs. "These kudos are a joyous celebration of the guys 'n' dolls whose enthusiasm is matched only by their quotability," says Variety's Timothy Gray.

Under the category of "Best Quote In Years," Seitz, a Pulitzer finalist, joined critical greats like Jeff Craig of "Sixty Second Preview" and Barry ZeVan of Channel America in snagging Garys. Seitz was anointed for this blurb, taken from his review of Mi Familia: "One of the most satisfying dramas I have ever seen!