Cheap Bastard

Review: Go Philly

Lunch special: Small cheesesteak combo with fries and a drink for $5.99, or Buffalo cheesesteak, fries and a drink for $7.50

Q: What does one do when faced with the choice between Buffalo wings and a cheesesteak?

A: Buffalo cheesesteak, bitches.

Why? Because instead of making difficult choices, I say "yes" to both. If the dude who invented strawberry lemonade had settled for just plain strawberries or just plain lemonade, that fruity taste-fest would never have been invented. If Britney had settled on being just one kind of crazy, the tabloids might have had to follow Ben Affleck's un-career. If some pothead hadn't been really in the mood to play Frisbee and also in the mood to get hit by cars and piss off actual golfers, Frisbee golf would never have been invented, and how happy could we possibly be in a world without Frisbee golf? OK, bad example. But other than the invention of EffGolf, the "Saying Yes to Both" theory is the way to go. And Go Philly's Buffalo cheesesteak proves I'm right. One bite of that steaky, peppery badasswich and I was in my cheesesteak happy place.

For me, the cheesesteaks of my past have been less about the cheese and more about the sauce. So, I was pretty focused on that when ordering. So focused, in fact, that I just got the default provolone cheese on my steak. As I perused the menu again after I'd already made my order and I'd been bored out of my mind watching SportsCenter on the restaurant's flat screen, I discovered something that none of you should miss out on. In addition to being able to top your sandwich with your choice of American, Swiss or provolone, Go Philly is also willing to cheese your steak with Cheez Wiz. Yeah. You heard me. Sure, its name might suggest that someone pissed in a can instead of putting cheese in there, but it's 100 percent shot onto your bun if you ask for it. And you must.

Despite cheating myself out of canned cheese pee, I was pleased with my cheesesteak choice. But they have plenty more menu items that intrigued me (pizza cheesesteak, teriyaki cheesesteak, pizza fries and whatever tastykakes are) and will warrant another visit or 20. The small cheesesteak is a little small, but by the time I finished it, I was definitely not hungry anymore. I guess Go Philly knows my body.