Holy Crap: Does Perry Have a Prayer?

Dear God: OK, Buzz is a little late with cracking wise about "The Response," Governor Rick Perry's national day of prayer and monster truck rally to take place next month in Houston. What? No monster trucks? Why, then, would anyone in his right mind travel to Houston in August for that?

Ah, yes. "Right mind." Answered our own question.

Perry has invited all 49 other governors to join him to pray for the nation's deliverance from the woeful state of moral decline brought about by Washington-bred wickedness, such as treating gay people like citizens. So far, The New York Times (aka Sodom's Broadsheet) says only Kansas Governor Sam Brownback has RSVPed.

A cynic might suggest that's because Kansas is the only place worse than Houston to be in August, but what's the point of being cynical about The Response? You simply can't out-cynical Perry, who scheduled his revival for the week before the Republican Iowa Straw Poll, an important early contest in deciding who should lead the nation and whose past winners include Pat Robertson, Mitt Romney and a tie between Bob Dole and Phil Gramm.

Oh, go ahead and laugh. Roll your eyes when Perry insists his plan to kick up the sawdust with some preachin' and prayin' has nothing to do with running for president as a Tea Party darling. Be offended that his revival is bankrolled by the American Family Association, an organization known for its anti-homosexual vitriol. ("There is hope for America," The Response's website says. "It lies in heaven, and we will find it on our knees." Heh, heh, heh.)

Doesn't matter. People who look at Perry and see a future president won't be persuaded by anything you have to say, Mr. Rational. Writer Katie Sherrod took perhaps the best shot on the Morning News' religion blog, paraphrasing the Gospel of Matthew: "But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."

Ha. Nice try, but every good Perrypublican knows that even the devil can quote scripture, and that a female progressive Episcopalian feminist activist like Sherrod one day will be roasted to a turn, anyway.

So let Perry have his prayer meeting. In fact, let's all pray that he does eventually win the GOP presidential nomination. If you must have faith in something, believe that American voters will eventually see through this guy. If they can't, then we don't have a prayer.