Cheap Bastard

Lockhart Smokehouse the Best BBQ in Big D?

There's a quote from Daniel Vaughn (aka The BBQ Snob, a.k.a. The Guy Who Writes That Full Custom Gospel BBQ Blog a.k.a. That Dude Who's Eaten At More Than 400 Barbecue Joints In Texas And Some Other States That Apparently Exist And Claim To Smoke Meats, a.k.a. The Danster) in chalk on the wall at Lockhart Smokehouse in Oak Cliff saying that he thinks it's "the best barbecue in Dallas."

That's high praise from The Vaughninator. But there's a difference between being called "the best barbecue ever" and "the best barbecue in Dallas." Being called the best barbecue in Dallas is like being called the smartest stripper at La Bare. Sure, you win, but did you really have to be that awesome to beat your competition? (Whoever's reading this to the men of La Bare, please tell them the answer to this quiz is "no.")

Is Lockhart Smokehouse in Oak Cliff just barely the best barbecue in Dallas like Kim "Tardy For The Party" Zolciak is just barely the most ridiculous Real Housewife? Or is the meatfest at Lockhart Smokehouse head and pork shoulders above its Dallas competition?

I showed up at high noon and ordered some brisket ($7.50 per half pound) and some of their legendary Kreuz Market sausage ($5 each). Yeah, it's a lot of meat. Jealous? I skipped breakfast. Kind of.

Guy chopping brisket: "Lean or fatty on that brisket?" Me: "Fatty." Guy chopping brisket: "Good girl." To the eight dudes wearing ties in front of me who all answered "lean" to that poor guy's question, I ask, "Why the horse balls did you even come here?"

When I unwrapped my meal, Lisa Frank unicorns, teddy bears and rainbows shot out and a choir of Chuck Norris angels sang to me. The brisket and sausage looked glorious. I couldn't even look at these meats directly without feeling inadequate. This brisket is easily the best brisket in Dallas. And the sausage was the best I've ever had. (Yeah, I hear it and I don't care.)

If you're craving barbecue and don't have time to make a trip to Lockhart or to Franklin Barbecue in Austin, Lockhart Smokehouse in Oak Cliff is where it's at.