We're already stockpiling prizes that we probably won't give away until the end of the year, if at all. Great prizes, too--such as 8 oz. flasks with the Dallas Observer 'Best of' 2006 logo (which kinda makes them collectibles and thus quite valuable). And if we can ever find someone to produce "Dude Food" baseball hats and "How 'Bout Them Knockers" t-shirts, we'd add them to the prize list too.
Last year's winner TLS did come in to pick up her cookbooks. I'm told she was wearing a pink Tony Romo jersey. Another winner, bruce, did not come in. But if I read one of his recent comments correctly, he promised to buy all of us at City of Ate a beer instead.
And I'm almost certain I read that correctly.
We're into a new year, though. That means no prizes--nothing, zilch, nada, etc.--for your efforts. So, here are the first non-winners of 2010:
To start things off, ChrisU brought up this in response to Days Gone Bite: "the
great NRBQ had a song on its 'Workshop' LP called 'RC Cola and a
Moonpie'. they also had a classic titled 'Howard Johnson's got his HoJo
Workin'."
We know we're rewarding--or, rather, not rewarding--someone else's
cleverness here, but ChriU brought HoJo Workin' to our attention and we
love it.
Also in response to the MoonPie piece, Rev. Jack wrote "A Big
Red and a Banana Moon pie, or a Nehi Grape and a Vanilla Moon Pie were
nice alternatives, but the original Moon Pie and an RC were my fav. Now
that I'm a 35 year old diabetic,the Mrs won't let me eat like that. But
after reading this, I may have to go to Wal Mart and buy a snack for
old time's sake."
We can see the headlines now: Hundreds of Diabetics Face Hospitalization Thanks To City of Ate.
At least cynical old bastard's COA-induced nostalgia had no possible health repurcussions: "Back
in 1995 when driving back to Dallas through Tennessee I stopped to
fill-up the gas tank. After walking through the front door to pay for
the gas the first thing I saw was the moon pie display. That put a
smile on my face as I headed to the cooler to pick up an RC. Went back
to the room in the Motel 6 and had me an RC cola and moon pie.
Excellent sugar rush. Don't know why but they did seem to go well
together. But that was the first and only time I've done that."
RC, a MoonPie and a Motel 6. That's just perfect.
Brent D had a question after reading about Canary Cafe in Short Orders: "You
won't try Mountain Oysters? Nice to know where a food critic draws the
line. Is it a 'male-balls' thing or humane thing comparable to gavage?" Well, Brent, I'd like to say it's more of an intellectual statement on human progress.
Brent D also commented on MoonPies: "You youngsters... It's a Nehi (bellywash) and a Moonpie. Geez, get it right."
When Jesse found a moldy tomato on his Dude Food burger, curmudgeon responded with "HEY!! what's the big deal? Bleu cheese is mold, penicillin is mold, look at it as your h1n1 vaccination via lunch."
Commenting on an older post that mentioned Bolsa, Mugtoe wrote "I
don't like joints with attitude that cater to hipsters. I'd rather grab
some taco lengua down at El Padrino and eat it on the bench outside for
a couple of bucks, than stand around modeling and being seen just so I
can eat something really delicious for WAY too much money. Oddly
enough, having said all that, I think they're a great addition to the
neighborhood, and I'm glad they're here. Reusing existing buildings and
sourcing locally makes yer stock go way up in my book. I just don't
wanna eat where the cool kids go."
Sound reasoning.
For more reasoning, we turn to TLS, who pointed out that "4 to 6 matzohs would be around 36 to 54 saltines."
Now we can complete that 5th grade math problem, the one that kept us
from graduating, went on our permanent record and ruined our future's
so badly we wound up here.
A few other comments we liked...Bradford's broken shoulder: "While
in the town of the cow, the best Barbacoa I've found is at El
Matate..off of 28th...the Barbacoa gorditas are from another galaxy."
Will: "Is there ANYWHERE else that has co-ed bathrooms?! Awesome... in a totally non-creepy way."
And bruce: "I
enjoy craft beers. I also really like various imports. (especially
Beck's and St Pauli girl) The fact of the matter is those kinds of
beers don't really translate into sessions at the ballpark, a
breastaurant, or boxing ppv/super bowl parties. Those are the times
when the unholy trinity of domestic light beers are the most sensible
choices. You are also right on point about price. Some times call for a
delicious beer and some times call for mass consumption."
In response to How 'Bout Them Knockers, chevytexas explained "Sal's
is an institution even for those of us who've 'been abroad', meaning
Yonkers or the Jersey Shore, god help us (I once pursued a Guido)."
But the week's biggest non-winner was clearly Ed in the OC, who added this to Dude Food: "Several
years ago I was trying to procure a cheap date night. I had already
gone large with a rental from Hollywood video. As I was exiting the
parking lot, Country Burger with its drive thru window, was calling out
like a long lost friend. I went with the double cheese burger and fries
and got the little lady something on the lighter side. When I got home,
she took one look at the greasy paper sack and punted. Not admitting I
may have made a mistake, I ate my dinner quickly, so I could get thru
the movie and on to better things. Unfortunately it was not to be.
Halfway through the show some sort of chemical reaction took place in
my stomach. Three days later and ten pounds lighter, I weakly returned
the movie and tried not to cast a look across the parking lot. I
thought I had buried that painful outing deep enough not to ever
resurface, but your story brought back a flood of memories. Thanks a
lot Jesse, got the runs. Sorry I meant gotta run."
Thanks to all.
