The Meat Fight Meat Scavenger Hunt Starts ... Now

Last year, tickets to Meat Fight (my barbecue competition that benefits the National MS Society) sold out in a flash.

So, this year, we decided to have a meat scavenger hunt so that one lucky bastard could have easy access to our meat tickets before any other bastard. This is good for us for two reasons: 1) If anyone participates, it means that an actual meat fight occurred in the streets of Dallas because we demanded it, and 2) (see 1).

It's good for you because the winner receives the opportunity to purchase Meat Fight tickets without having to endure the possible scramble that could happen on October 1 when tickets go on sale to the general public. Also, you now have an excuse to fight a pig or cow in public. You're welcome.

Behold: the rules of the 2014 Meat Scramble.

The Meat Fight Meat Scramble

The Prize: The guaranteed opportunity to purchase two tickets to Meat Fight 2014.

Repeat: If you win this hunt, you will still be required to purchase tickets, and 100 percent of that ticket price will go to the National MS Society. The point of the scavenger hunt is to reduce your stress and to guarantee your presence at Meat Fight 2014. Tickets purchased can be your choice of VIP or General Admission.

This challenge requires Instagram. All submissions will be posted to Instagram. If you don't have any Instagram, get some Instagram. If you have questions about your Instagram, ask a friend. Don't ask us. We're currently busy smoking and/or eating meats.

Instagram submission requirements:

  • At least one person in every photo or video submission must be wearing a shirt that says "Meat Fight"

  • Every post must include both: #meatscramble and #{your chosen team name}


The competition begins as soon as you're done reading this and ends at 11:59 p.m. on Saturday, September 27. Good meat luck and godmeatspeed.

Meat Fight Officials will look up your Instagram photos using the #meatscramble hashtag and will choose a winner. Keep in mind: Photos and video will be evaluated not only for completion of the required task, but also for level of creativity. If this competition were to come down to a tiebreaker, creativity will break the tie.

Your Challenge:

1. Before you begin, you must put on a shirt that says "Meat Fight." All photos and video uploaded to Instagram must include you in this shirt that says "Meat Fight."

2. As mentioned above, name your team. Something short.

3. Take a photo or video of you completing each task. If there's no photo or video, it didn't happen. Upload the photo or video to Instagram. Hashtag each photo with #meatscramble and #{teamname}. Once you have completed these steps, you have submitted a task to the Meat Fight Officials for review. Once you have submitted 10 tasks, you're done! Once you're done, drink some whiskey and await the competition results.

The Tasks:

There are three categories: Easy (at least eight out of the 20 optional tasks), Hard (at least one out of the four optional tasks), and Mandatory (meaning mandatory). So you must complete a total of 10 tasks.

Easy (complete 8 of 20):

1) Find a Meat Fight poster hanging in a BBQ joint in Dallas. Snap a pic of you smiling in front of it.

2) Get a Grandma Slice and Ranch dressing in Oak Cliff. Take a pic or video.

3) Go to Dude, Sweet Chocolate and find the photo of Jeffery Hobbs getting hit in the face with a chicken. Take your picture with him.

4) Photograph or video what happens to you when you try to save a seat at the burger joint named after an intersection.

5) Use the best free paper in town that rhymes with Shmallas Smobshmerver as a placemat. Photograph it. Make sure the light is right, or Nicholas McWhirter and Robert Strickland will shake their fists in your general direction.

6) High five the valet at TJ's Seafood. Photo or video, your choice.

7) Walk into Hypnotic Donuts and yell, "These are the best doughnuts in the world!!" Then, buy a doughnut. Take a picture or it didn't happen.

8) Find the Noble Coyote Coffee Roasters and ask them, in person, "What does the coyote say?" Take a photo or video of their response.

9) Yell "Meat Fight!!!!!" at Jack Perkins. Take a photo or video of his response.

10) Do something stupid in front of the "No GMO's" sign at Green Grocer. Get video of your stupidity.

11) Kiss the "Wood Fire Meat" sign at the Lockhart Smokehouse in Plano. Get someone to photograph this as it happens.

12) Find Brian C. Luscher. Tell him that you really like his glasses. Then, take a photo or video with him.

13) Go to the All Day Ale House and order a beer. It's good. Now, take a picture of it.

14) Take a photo or video of yourself eating meats in front of the green warehouse in Trinity Groves, where Meat Fight 2014 will take place.

15) Do 10 jumping jacks (yelling "Meat" and "Fight" as you do them) in front of Rudolph's Meat Market. This requires video.

16) Take a photo of yourself in an iconic Dallas location.

17) Build a meat tower. Minimum height: 2 ft. Include tape measure measuring your tower in photo, for proof of height. Photograph it or video. Whichever is more glorious.

18) Spell out "Meat Fight" using meats. Snap photo.

19) Get a Pop Star popsicle and yell (with feeling), "This popsicle is blowing my mind, you guys!" Video this.

20) Yell "Meat Fiiiiiiight!" at people as they walk by you. (at least 3 people) Gonna need video.

Hard (complete one of four):

1) Fist bump someone who works at The Swiss Pastry Shop.

2) Take a photo with a 2014 Meat Fighter.

3) Take a photo with a 2014 Meat Fight Judge.

4) Chest bump someone who works at Local Yocal.

Mandatory (complete one of one):

Dress up as a cow. Have a friend dress up as a pig. Go somewhere where there are a lot of people (ex: Klyde Warren Park on the stage, DART Green Line, or the duck pond in NorthPark Center), yell "Meat Fiiiiiight!!!!" and proceed to fight. Fight must last at least 60 seconds. There must be a winner.


1. You must be 21 or over to compete in the Meat Scramble.

2. Meat Fight, Inc. does not endorse, encourage, advocate, or request any actions of participants in the Meat Scramble that could result in death, injury, damage to public or private property, irresponsible nudity or unnecessary physical or mental trauma to local food personalities.

3. You may not compete in the Meat Scramble if you, any member of your family (including immediate and adopted family members and any lineal descendants from a common ancestor not more than three generations removed from you), is a chef, judge, sponsor, vendor, officer or director of Meat Fight.

4. All decisions regarding winners, disputes, eligibility, disqualifications, sanctions, and any other determinations with respect to Meat Scramble are at the sole discretion of Meat Fight, Inc. This is for charity. AND FOR ETERNITY!

Have fun out there (until 11:59 p.m. on Saturday). Go meat!