Veggie Guy: Thai 2 Go

A lot of people give vegans shit about eating fake meats. But should trannies at the Grapevine really talk? Probably not.

My friend Sara and I hit the Grapevine Bar last night to celebrate her last two days in Dallas. That meant gettin' crazy on the court, downing too many Tangeritas, and handing out trick cards with fake numbers on 'em.

Trashy, I know. But hey--we never claimed to be classy sorts.

Knowing our night was going to entail lots of boozing, we stopped by Thai 2 Go in anticipation of our drunk munchies.

Thai 2 Go's menu goes far beyond vegan-friendly. Appetizers include edamame, salad rolls with a vegan peanut sauce, and roti pancakes with a curry dipping sauce. For vegans who don't care if their foods are fried in the same oil where meat items are fried, corn patties, fried tofu, and tempura vegetables are essentially vegan.

Most entrées can be made vegan by omitting fish sauce and egg, and protein options include tofu, vegan soy chicken, and vegan soy duck. Peanut Curry is a Massamun curry with onions, potatoes, carrots, and peanuts in coconut milk. Sweet and sour is a stir-fry of cucumbers, tomatoes, pineapple, bell peppers, and onions in a house made sweet and sour sauce. Basil stir fry is a spicy dish with green onions, carrots, bell peppers, and sweet basil in a chili garlic sauce. The ginger stir fry is made with fresh ginger--of course--onions, green onions, celery, carrots, mushrooms, and bells cooked in a special house sauce.

Vegan-friendly fried rice dishes include Thai fried rice: jasmine rice stir-fried with green peas, carrots, and onions. Pineapple fried rice is stir-fried with pineapple, carrots, onions, green peas, golden raisins, and roasted peanuts. Basil fried rice comes with onions, bell peppers, and sweet basil stir-fried in a garlic chili sauce. Noodle dishes suitable for vegans are the pad woon sen, made with glass noodles, mushrooms, broccoli, carrots, napa cabbage, onions, celery, and scallions. Gravy noodles are flat rice noodles with broccoli and specially seasoned gravy. Basil chili noodles are stir-fried flat noodles with carrots, bells, onions, scallions, and sweet basil in a spicy sauce--and the sweet noodles is a similar dish, but made with a sweet black sauce.

Sara and I decided to start our Tangerita munchies with our order of salad rolls and house made peanut sauce. The peanut sauce was good, but it was a little runny. The kind of runny that drips down the side of your face if you're not careful...or a little drunk. That's where the tranny comes in.

I didn't catch her name, so I'm gonna call her "Betty."

"Hey, honey--you got a little mess on your face. You want some help with that?" she asked as she leaned in.

"Um--no, thanks." I laughed, inching away.

"What is THAT?" Betty asked about my pad woon sen with soy duck (with a sour look on her face).

"It's fake duck!" I responded with a huge smile.

"Why don't you just eat real duck, baby?" Betty wondered.

"Cuz I'm a vegan. I don't eat meat," I answered sincerely.

"Try it. You might like it," pressed Betty.

"Uhh..." I had no real response for that.

"You're cute, baby, but you're a little weird."

Then Sara jumped in.

"You wanna throw stones? Cuz I've got some faux meatballs if you wanna fight!"

Betty walked off. Not happy.

We cracked up!

So Sara and I finished off our soy duck and chugged another Tangerita. On our way out, I left some Thai 2 Go menus on the cigarette machine. Thai 2 Go delivers up to five miles, so I'm planning on getting my faux duck delivered to the Grapevine on my next happy-hour excursion.

I might even make a faux meat peace offering to Betty. Hell--she might like it.

Thai 2 Go
2222 Medical District Dr. #205