Although Queen has remained hugely popular worldwide for over four decades, the band's albums have always proved rather spotty. As a matter of fact, it can be especially challenging to make it through any of Queen's 14 studio efforts. For every great song ("You're My Best Friend," "39," "Sheer Heart Attack," among others), there are five pretentious clunkers.
Ever since frontman Freddie Mercury passed away in 1991, the remaining members have shuffled in several guest vocalists to keep alive those memories from Queen's '70s heyday. Seeing that the Adam Lambert version of Queen plays tonight at the American Airlines Center, here ten of the worst songs from the band's storied (but sometimes frustrating) career.
1. Bohemian Rhapsody The most recognizable Queen song is easily the worst. Hell, the original band didn't even do the whole song live, choosing instead to leave the stage as a taped version provided all the pseudo operatic nonsense. Listening to the version on the truly terrible concert 1979 album Live Killers is an embarrassment for both the band and the listeners.
2 & 3. Fat Bottomed Girls/Bicycle Race This double-sided single was the bane of my existence in 1978. From Jazz, one of Queen's worst albums, both songs represent the antithesis of real rock and roll. "Fat Bottomed Girls" is the more grievous in that it disguises its misogyny under a distinguishable blues-rock guitar riff. "Bicycle Race" is just plain stupid. A horrible mix of vaudeville-inspired rock and pretentious, a cappella nonsense, this song is a disgrace to two-wheelers everywhere.
4 & 5. We Will Rock You/We Are the Champions From the decent News of the World album, this double single started out with something akin to a Nazi army march and ended with an overblown anthem to winning at all costs. "We are the Champions" is still sung by eighth grade football teams across the country and that should tell you all you need to know. 6. Radio Ga Ga The '80s were not kind to Queen and this single from 1984 is symbolic of the band's fading fortunes. Off the awful album The Works, "Radio Ga Ga" was an embarrassment from the moment it was conceived.
7. Flash From one of the worst movies ever made, 1980's Flash Gordon, this insipid little ditty is lame from start to finish. Queen's music always had a cinematic quality to it, but this is ridiculously shitty.
8. Get Down, Make Love Another bombastic number from News of the World, "Get Down, Make Love" is offensive in intent and execution. The song is the equivalent of 1970s porn done badly. The lyrics are the worst Mercury ever, ahem, came up with and that's saying something.
9. Calling All Girls Considering Mercury's sexual orientation, this horrible little number from 1982's Hot Space is both hypocritical and decidedly sexist. Plus, the song just sucks.
10. Don't Try Suicide Good advice gone wrong, there's a reason why Queen has never performed this song live. "Nobody gives a damn," Mercury sang on the chorus. If he was singing about the 10 songs on this list, he was definitely correct.
