The Problem With... Jason Derulo's "It Girl"

Earlier this week, I was both delighted and saddened when I read that R&B performer Jason Derulo said he might take a break from music after the release of his upcoming album, Future History

I was delighted because it means we don't have to hear his bland, sample-heavy music for a while. 

So what could be sad about that? Well, Derulo's unremarkable tracks make him such a reliable subject for "The Problem With..." that we're kind of gonna miss him.

Derulo's latest single, "It Girl," starts with some cliché acoustic guitar chords and whistling. Meanhile, his vocal melody in the chorus sounds a bit like the one in Hot Chelle Rae's banal summer single "Tonight, Tonight."

Dude just clearly into stealing other people's bit.

But, more than that, if you read between the lines in "It Girl," it becomes clear that Derulo has some really weird taste in women. Taken literally -- and what other way is there to take Derulo -- the first line, "I've been looking under rocks and breaking locks," would seem to imply that he's looking for feral women under rocks or one of those tragic, locked-and-neglected girls you hear about sometimes. Later, a line in the second verse, "like a TV show playing reruns,  every chance I get Imma turn you on," just makes it sound like Derulo wants a woman who follows an obsessive-compulsive routine. 

The chorus has another round of ambiguous lines. Without the implied comma on the line "Baby, you're the shit, girl," it sounds like Derulo might be looking for an outhouse cleaner. Another line, "Give me 25-to-life," either means he'd go to prison for her or that he's making an offhand relationships-equals-prison joke. 

Back to the first verse, the line "Much more than a Grammy award, that's how much you mean to me" hits at Derulo's rationale as a musician. I guess that's why he hasn't been nominated for a Grammy yet -- he just isn't trying hard enough to make and perform good tunes. 

With that, I wish Jason Derulo luck on whatever he does during his break from recording music. And I hope he finds that wolf-girl or sewage worker he's looking for. 

Because, all things considered, I don't think he's getting that Grammy anytime soon.