Arts & Culture News

Do You Buy the Infomercial for Max Tall? Here Are the Ten Reasons We Don't.

We know what you're thinking when you watch Max Tall's TV offering: When's the commercial going to be interrupted -- like the one for the neck basket -- so we can learn about stopping shitty ads before they start?

Well, it's not. It's real. For a real product that costs $19.99. It is the epitome of "as seen on TV."

Don't get us wrong, we love this ad. It's caused us moments of wonder, laughter and pointing at the screen yelling into another room, "Dude, have you seen this?!" So go ahead, watch it in full after the jump, then see if you if agree with our reasons for still believing that Max Tall has produced a fake commercial.

Now let's break it down: 1. "Guys, pay attention: How would you like to have an extra two inches?" And it's not said in a sexy or sultry way by a breathy woman, as is protocol for evening infomercials. 2. Doesn't the narrator remind you a little bit of ace investigative reporter Carl Monday? 3. Right. Being a couple inches shorter always keeps me from being invited to lunch. (Wait a sec! Three tall people from our HQ did go to lunch together yesterday...) 4. Short people have sad faces. Marginally taller people have gleeful ones. 5. Those befores and afters aren't photoshopped at all. Our shirts always get lighter and longer when we step onto lifts. 6. With the deluxe model you can reach six feet without any regard to your previous height! Fuck! 7. We are thoroughly unconvinced our foot will never come out of a shoe that cups our heel little more than one-eighth of an inch. 8. Cindy is a chode and Mike is an even bigger one. The biggest, however, is that tape measure there in the middle of the screen to illustrate just how much 3" is. 9. Everyday people with confidence clench their fists and do a silent cheer of success. 10. $19.99, buy one get one. Honorable mention: He's not actually in the ad, but that weary and sad short man in the website's image above just KILLS us.

Agree? Disagree? Have observations to add? Or, has Max Tall scored you loads of dates that didn't notice when you took your shoes off that you weren't as tall as before? Share below, people. Don't be shy -- we know you're not short on opinions.

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