17 Valentine's Day Events in Dallas, Because This Holiday Is Happening, People

Valentine's Day is back and with it come visions of fat little blonde men in tiny diapers aiming sharp objects at your pulmonary artery. It's the time in late winter when North Texans get bored with the cold and long to take off a few layers and use the energy they've been storing for months to heat things up. Mid-February, people get, well, twitterpated.

Whether this sickly sweet holiday finds you out-of-your-mind wacky for that special someone or freshly embittered over loves past, there's something for you to do in Dallas. Here are some of the more appealing.

In keeping with Valentine's roots, which apparently involve a Roman tradition of slapping women with bloody goat skin as part of courting, you can take in the naughtier side of Valentine's and head to the  at 7 p.m. Friday for some sword-swallowing, contortionists, hula hoops and whip cracking at the Pretty Things Peep Show. Or enjoy the lusty routines of Lollie Bombs Burlesque: Pick Your Poison at The Pocket Sandwich Theatre with live music by Club Wood! Doors open at 10:30 p.m.

If you're counting on the Dallas-esque romance of the Reunion Tower to make your night, you'll have to keep it short. You can take your date to Cloud 9 at Reunion Tower from 4-6 p.m. for a sparkling wine toast to kick off the evening, but the dinner and overnight packages are sold out.

For a sexy night and interesting performers, try the Bollywood Love Affair, Red & White Party at Azure Restaurant & Bar where the men wear white, women wear red. The party starts at 8 p.m. and features AsianSoundz' 10th anniversary celebration, four DJs and performances by Blue Flame dancers and Dholifiers dhol drummers.

If you want to get all hot and bothered about some breathing-in-sync, there's Yoga for Two by Perfect Fit, where you can practice some great positions intoxicated with aromatherapy and partner foot massage, and finish it off with organic tea and dessert. Or, if you'd rather throw punches than meditate together, various Title Boxing Club locations offer singles classes Thursday or couples Sweat with your Sweetie classes Friday.

Lugh off that Valentine's weekend fight with a night at Backdoor Comedy's Champagne, Chocolates and Comedy Valentine's Day Celebration, featuring Aaron Aryanpur of Comedy Central at 8 p.m. Or, go see Pablo Francisco at Addison Improv, the man who debuted on Howard Stern in 2009, sold 50,000 tickets over the next year and has steadily climbed up through the ranks of several One Hour specials on Comedy Central, The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and been called the most talented comedian in the business today. Show at 8 p.m. 

 ou can keep it 2,000 degrees hot with  the Flaming Cocktail Hot Date Night event at Vetro Glassblowing Studio & Gallery 5-9 p.m., where you and your date can twirl dripping glass into the Valentine's shape of your choosing and enjoy flaming cocktails, come back the next morning to pick up your lovingly created artwork.

For a classy taste of Dallas tradition and international influences, try the Orchestra of New Spain and the Dallas Flamenco Festival for a trip back to 1920's Spain and some of the sexiest dancing you'll see this year. See Lauren Smart's interview with Flamenco artistic director and Dallas Observer Mastermind Delilah Buitron.

For fans of turn-of-the-century America, there's "Her Song" at The Echo Room celebrating great songwriters like Kay Swift, Dorothy Fields, Maria Grever at 8 p.m. If dinner is your plan, try the Murder Mystery Players Valentine's dinner show 8 p.m. at three Dave & Busters locations. Try a Singles Mingle or join the Valentine's Party at Flying Saucer on the Lake in Garland with late-night kitchen. Lark on the Park, Bird Cafe and Meddlesome Moth are also all offering Valentine's dinner specials. If oldies is your thing, try the KLUV Valentine's Party 8 p.m. at the Hilton Anatole with hors d'ouvres, dancing and DJ. 

Whatever your taste, enjoy your holiday plans. 

Platonically Yours (and sometime a little more), 

The Mixmaster.