Brian Posehn, George Lopez or the Amazing Johnathan: Which of Tonight's Shows Best Describes You?

Local fans of mainstream comedy headliners have the rare opportunity of having a choice of comedians to see this Friday, unless they have figured out some biological chemical algorithm to achieve transubstantiation, in which case HOLLER.

Mr. Show and Sarah Silverman Program star Brian Posehn will be at Hyena's Comedy Nightclub in Fort Worth on Friday and Saturday. Former ABC sitcom and TBS late night star George Lopez will be at the Verizon Theatre in Grand Prairie on Friday. Bloody magician and recovering Las Vegas headliner The Amazing Johnathan will be at the Addison Improv on Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

If you have any interest in two or all three of these recognizable names, you might have a hard time deciding which one you should see. Since coins only come with two sides (if you disagree, The Amazing Johnathan's your guy), we've come up with a way to help you decide how you should spend your hard earned money this weekend.

Brian Posehn

• Your favorite recreational activity: playing video games with friends and finding fun, new ways to fart on them. • You have a layaway plan at Hot Topix. • You can spell "Posehn" without having to look it up but couldn't spell "Massachusetts" to save your own life. • You have a framed Annihilator concert T-shirt in your garage. • You smoke so much pot that trying to speak to your children about the dangers of drug use makes you giggle.

George Lopez

• You use your painful childhood memories to entertain your friends. • You have emotionally abusive relatives that your wife or husband has yet to meet. • You never had or went to a birthday party at Chuck 'E Cheese. • You secretly hate children who complain about video games and the Internet. • Every time you see Carlos Mencia on TV, a little piece of you dies.

The Amazing Johnathan

• The desktop wallpaper on your computer has a knives motif. • To break the tension on first dates, you ask what blood type they have. • You've visited an emergency room for a juggling related accident. • When you worked at Blockbuster, you put the "Faces of Death" movies in the comedy section. • You did your own body piercings with implements that were paid for with a Home Depot gift card.