Barneys is Leaving NorthPark; Husbands Across the Metroplex Rejoice

There is no sight more troubling than that of one's wife making the turn into NorthPark's Archipelago of Shit You Can't Afford. There you are, enjoying your third Mrs. Field's cookie and ogling $75 basketball shoes as if you played basketball, doing all the things the rest of the mall-walking plebs are doing, when off she goes, down the stretch of shops that beep when you walk through the doors, not because you shoplifted but because, well, just look at you. Ain't no Lids down here, homie.

It's been an especially troubling sight since 2006, when Barneys New York opened its two-story boutique-department-store hybrid, a stunning, spacious monument to high fashion and rapid husband heartbeats. But word comes today that the store is closing, leaving Dallas altogether. From the Morning News:

NorthPark said in a statement that the mall's "hope for Barneys was that their merchandise mix would complement the offerings of our other retailers, and that their prime location within the shopping center and within the city would enable them to thrive."

In May, the Dallas store's future seemed more secure than it had been since the recession. Barneys debt was slashed by new majority owner Perry Capital and the company said at the time that no store closings were planned.

Perry Capital, you are liars, and I leave it to you to explain to my poor wife why the necklace I buy her for our anniversary will come not from Barneys, where I totally planned to buy it, but from Urban Outfitters, which I'm told is the next step down.