'Tis the Season

St. Patrick's Day/Greenville Avenue Parade/Toadies Concert: My Top 10 Observer-ations

10. The St. Patrick's Day/Greenville Avenue Parade is my favorite day of the year in Dallas. It's the one day our city lets its hair down, drops the materialistic b.s. and has fun, with total disregard to how we may look doing it. For about 12 hours a year, I get tricked into thinking there's hope for us yet. Unfortunately, we now return you to your regularly scheduled Dallas douchebaggery.

9. You want fun? I rode on a float that featured bikini-clad beauties in a hot tub. And somewhere along the way I got hit in the ribs by a Jack in the Box hamburger. So what'd I do? Unwrapped it, took a big bite and threw it back in the crowd, of course. Duh.

8. Best float belonged to the Hare Krishnas. Never gets old.

7. Honestly, I only saw one pair of exposed boobs the entire day. And, most uncomfortably, it was a 40-something woman letting them dangle while standing right next to another lady's 5-year-old-ish kid. Awkward.

6. There were over 100 floats and police estimate 100,000 were along the parade route. And all they desperately wanted was a strand of beads worth five cents.

5. Thanks to Dallas Observer publisher Kevin Thornburg and marketing director Jennifer Robinson for giving me the chance to introduce the Toadies before our post-parade concert at Energy Square. I'm an admitted douchedork, but there was something really cool and empowering about commanding the microphone on stage in front of a screaming crowd of around, what, 5,000? Awesome.

4. Didn't see any fights, which was shocking. I did see a woman who was a bloody mess outside the concert. Apparently hit in the head by a flying beer bottle. But she seemed OK.

3. Most thankless job in the joint were the security guards at the front of the stage. I saw them have beers sprayed on them. Several times they had to reach over the barricades and into the crowd to save people who were being smashed. And I also saw them dodge flying objects such as a shoe and, swear, two cell phones.

2. And for those of you always joking that I'm shorter than a Leprechaun, take that. Wait, dangit! I mean, you're welcome.

1. I've never been a huge Toadies fan, but when they cranked up "Make up your mind ... Decide to walk with me ... Around the lake tonight ... By my side." with the simple-yet-intoxicating guitar riff in the opening of "Possum Kingdom," it gave me chills.