Whitt's End

Whitt's End: 1.7.11

Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:

*If Bill Parcells fit too snug and Wade Phillips was a size too loose, Jason Garrett fits juuuuust right.

*Maybe I'm naive and gullible and biased in favor of Garrett, but until otherwise I'm going to believe owner Jerry Jones when he says the new coach has real power. You?

*All you folks who call Dirk Nowitzki soft and overrated, just look what happens when he's gone. The Mavs are 2-4 since he sprained his knee. Sans the best player in the history of the franchise, Dallas would struggle to make the playoffs.

*Andrew Luck looked like an NFL-ready star quarterback in the Orange Bowl. Despite assuredly being the No. 1 pick in the April draft, he decided to stay in school. I can't fathom having the option - much less the maturity - to pass up a guaranteed $50 million. If the NFL institutes a new rookie salary cap in its collective bargaining agreement, Luck may regret this universally lauded move.

*So a publishing company has edited the n-word (changed 219 times to slave) out of The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. I read it in junior high and I acknowledge that it's a classic. But, unfortunately, to stay relevant and stay read the book needs to be politically correct. Think of all the songs you never would have heard if not for a "radio edit" version. In fact, Cee-Lo's "Fuck You" is up for a Grammy this year. That is, the edited version.

*In case you haven't noticed I'm a naturally obsessive skeptic. When it comes to golden-throated homeless dude Ted Williams, something's fishy. A guy stands on a corner in Dallas with those pipes and a "God-given voice" sign and I guaroontee Fox4 has him on the news by sundown. What took so long for him to be "discovered"? And we're supposed to believe that the video was shot and uploaded last week in Ohio. Really? Green grass in Ohio in January? Pretty sure that intersection is covered in snow. But go ahead, embrace the fairy tale while you enjoy the gifts that Santa (wink) brought you. And while you're at it, take a second to ponder the out-of-work radio deejays who haven't been arrested 12 times. Who haven't turned to drugs and robbery, but instead have taken jobs as waiters in an effort to make ends meet and stay off the streets. Pretty sure they'd enjoy some voice-over work. But nooooo, let's fling fame and fortune on this dude. I just don't get it.

*A-ha, so that's what Greggo spends his money on. Touche.

*Hot.

*Not.