To the Highest Bidder, For Pocket Change, An Ex-Dallas Cowboys Fan

A Friend of Unfair Park sends us an eBay item being offered by a disgruntled former Dallas Cowboys "Super Fan": himself. (At least, I think it's a "himself." Has to be.) Says the want ad:

You are bidding on behalf of your favorite NFL football team, to acquire a new Super Fan. After a 22 year career as a devoted Dallas Cowboys fan, I will not be renewing my contract and am now a free agent. There have been plenty of ups and downs, from back to back Super Bowls to the embarrassing Dave Campo years, but I can no longer offer my Super Fan status to a team that simply does not care about winning.
Amazingly, there have been two bids thus far, driving up the price to ... $1.25. --Robert Wilonsky