More Monday for Your Friday

Admit it, Carl Monday is your new hero. Cutthroat investigative journalism at its finest, right? (You know, it's really too bad we don't have cameras on us as we're reporting stories. We are so like that.) Well, Monday went back for more after Mike Cooper, famous for the "mono log" he gave at a Cleveland library, was sentenced. And the clip has got everything we could've asked for: Monday's wispy hair, a far-flung microphone, Cooper's bizarre behavior and, of course, violent and protective parents. OK, almost everything. The only thing lacking? A quote from the literate masturbator saying, "Without Carl Monday, this day would not have been possible."

Oh, and there's been an update in the Village Voice Media handbook: All reporters are to immediately trade tact for pencil-thin moustaches upon hiring. Thankfully, we've been grandfathered in. --Merritt Martin