Wanna Scare the Doo-Doo Out of Jim Schutze? One Word: "Voodoo."

The voodoo thing is closing in on us. I wrote a well researched and highly readable column about the voodoo pot found recently in Hutchins just south of Dallas. Now two more Palo Mayombe voodoo cauldrons have been discovered in Conowingo, Maryland, with a human skull and human leg-bones in them.

A story in the Cecil Whig, picked up by the Associated Press, contained this interesting observation: "Police are describing the discovery as evidence of a possible 'pagan ritual' but Iris Dickerson, an Elkton resident and practicing pagan, told the Cecil Whig real pagans do not use human bones or hurt animals in their religious practices."

You know, there was a day in this country when you could write a straight-up news account of a voodoo ritual involving skulls and bones and stuff like that and not have to worry about offending the practicing pagans. But there you have it. Now everybody's a pressure group.

The witches in Maryland are all over the blogs, complaining that people ask them bigoted questions like, "Do you ride a broom?" Sorry, but if I met a witch, the very first thing I would ask is, "Do you ride a broom?" What else is there to know about a witch? Where'd you get the schnozz?

I happen to think the name of this town, Conowingo, is kind of scary. Doesn't it sound like the name of the French/West African port where everybody gets marooned in a zombie movie? But I looked it up, and the only other time Conowingo has been in the news was 12 years ago for a program to attach radio transmitters to bass.

Still, I think we might keep an eye on them. If they're not practicing pagans, they're Whigs. What's with that?

Who remembers the Cole Porter line from "You Do Something to Me"? It's, "Do, do that voodoo that you do so well." We might have to start putting up signs out in the woods that say, "Don't do..." The less voodoo the better, as far as I'm concerned. I'm creepin' out here. --Jim Schutze