The Sanitary Science of Skull Bonging

It's gonna be hard to find a better headline during the rest of '08 than this one from Friday: "3 accused of using corpse head to smoke pot." (Admit it: When you first heard about the story outta humble Humble last week, you thought three things: Doesn't anyone use Coke cans or apples anymore when in a pinch? What stoner exerts that much effort to get high? And -- really, the kid puked in his dinner when cops asked him about the dig?)

Well, late Friday, Slate ran an Explainer piece about the incident titled: "How To Make a Skull Bong." I sorta skimmed the piece -- I mean, look, Unfair Park HQ is just down Maple Ave. from the Gas Pipe. Besides, for our purposes the end note was more interesting: "Explainer thanks Wayne Cavender of the Dallas Institute of Funeral Service, Danny Danko of High Times magazine, and several other experts, who spoke on condition of anonymity." Quite the dynamic duo -- and, no, I did not know there was a Dallas Institute of Funeral Services; but, sure 'nuff, it's on South Buckner Boulevard. (Best part of the site? Its intro: "Welcome to the Metroplex. Come for the fun of it all!") It's 108 years old, matter of fact, and used to go by the moniker Barnes School of Anatomy, Sanitary Science and Embalming. Also: I though it read Wayne Cadaver at first. You did too. --Robert Wilonsky