According to The Dallas Morning News, All of DFW's Best Neighborhoods Are in the Suburbs

Has it really been a year? Have 12 months really passed since The Dallas Morning News trolled us all with its rich, lily-white and generally boring Best Neighborhoods list?

No, it's been 11. But the paper apparently couldn't wait the extra 30 days, so eager it was to roll out the results of its newly rejiggered Best Neighborhoods formula. So without further ado, they are:

1. Central Plano 2. East Plano 3. Frisco (East of Preston) 4. North Richardson 5. McKinney West 6. Frisco (North of Eldorado) 7. Frisco (Southwest of the Tollway) 8. Keller 9. Southlake 10. Highland Village

Somehow, the new list, which the Morning News presents as an authoritative work of science, is even more suburban than the last, which at least included one neighborhood in Dallas proper (Prestonwood, up near Plano) and one inside the loop (University Park). This time, the list tiptoes into Dallas County only once, praising North Richardson for its "low crime; nice landscaping; plentiful parks, trees and gardens; and relatively short drives to many attractions."

See also: The Morning News' Best Neighborhoods Are Really Rich, Really White and Really Far Away

This raises all sorts of important questions, like Why was such a godawful data journalism experiment revived for a second year? and Why is the thought of living in Dallas so anathema to the city's only daily newspaper? We won't belabor these points. This is science, remember.

Kudos to the Morning News, though, for recognizing that, like climate change deniers and creationists, not all readers will agree with science. Enter the "Find Your Ideal Neighborhood" tool, which allows you to weight various criteria based on what you find important. Want the safest neighborhood you can find? Head to McKinney. Only care about noise? Las Colinas is the place for you.

Care about absolutely nothing? Want to live in a place with terrible schools, few parks, poor walkability, and few activities? Zero everything out. Move all the sliders to as far left as they'll go. Finally, you're in Dallas:

1. Kessler Park 2. Grauwyler Park 3. Bachman 4. Bradford Estates 5. Victory 6. Bryan Place/Cityplace 7. The Cedars 8. Oak Lawn 9. Shelby Place 10. Design District

Send your story tips to the author, Eric Nicholson.