At the New Dallas' Red Carpet Premiere, Patrick Duffy Will Sign My Step By Step Box Set

I was 6 when Dallas went off the air, so I have been spared thus far, mercifully from everything I hear, from ever having to watch an episode. I haven't been able to maintain the level of ignorance that I would have liked, since on occasion when I've mention my hometown in places that aren't Texas, people assume that I'm best pals with J.R. or ask how I like visiting Southfork. This unwanted knowledge has been only partially compensated for by the obvious terror in my middle aged interlocutors when I tell them that I wasn't even close to being born when the show hit the airwaves.

I was born in plenty of time for Step by Step, which is why I'm totally excited about the exclusive premier screening of TNT's new version of Dallas at the Winspear Opera House, which will include red carpet appearances by the show's stars, including Patrick Duffy.

Duffy played (and plays) Bobby Ewing on the show, but more notably, he played Frank Lambert, the dad in Step by Step

In case you need a refresher, Frank is, per Wikipedia, a "laid-back husband and father, who was an avid sports fan, especially of the Milwaukee Bucks and Green Bay Packers. Frank was also a contractor who had his own construction company. Carol helps him to become more responsible and serious while he teaches Carol to loosen up."

Man, that brings back memories. But back to Dallas. TNT is inviting media persons like myself to the red carpet on May 31 to gawk and photograph and talk to the stars.

For reporters like myself who are ignorant of the show, here's a crash course from the press people:

The Ewings are back and only on TNT. Larry Hagman, Patrick Duffy and Linda Gray return to Southfork as JR, Bobby and Sue Ellen Ewing in TNT's all-new series Dallas, and they're bringing with them a whole new collection of secrets, schemes and betrayals

Go on. I'm intrigued.

This time, they're joined by the next generation of Ewings, who take ambition and deception to a new level. Jesse Metcalfe, Josh Henderson, Brenda Strong, Jordana Brewster and Julie Gonzalo also star.

Ah, these must be the beautiful young people who will inject sexual tension into the new show. And cleavage. Sign me up.

Who am I kidding? I'm not going for the hot young stars. I'm going for Frank Lambert. So while other media types are jockeying for sound byte from one of the fresh-faced Ewings, or maybe from J.R., I'll be buttonholing Frank Mr. Duffy to autograph my Step by Step DVD box set. Which, by the way, does exist.