Liberal Leppert, Tea Party Taj Unmasked by Completely True, Fair-Minded Election Materials

The primary for the U.S. Senate, House and a slew of local races is coming up -- on Tuesday to be exact, with early voting ending today -- which is why you've been seeing a ramp-up in the ... revelations. Seriously. These just blew my mind.

For example: Did you know that Tom Leppert, the former Dallas mayor and businessman who's been tacking hard to the right in his campaign, is basically a pinko commie? Says so right here. And Taj Clayton, the young upstart taking on Eddie Bernice Johnson for the Democratic nomination for the 30th Congressional District? "Tea Party Taj," they call him, a lapdog of the big-monied Republican extremists.

I called Clayton to confront him with these facts, which were unearthed by a civic-minded former staffer of EBJ's who has since had absolutely no connection with the congresswoman except for that one little fundraising thing that one time.

How, I asked, could did his picture get on a mailer that also included photos of an angry Mitt Romney and befuddled-looking George W. Bush if he were not really a closet Republican?

His "answer" was that he "guessed" that "someone" had put his photo there when designing the flier.

And why the somber look, Taj? Feeling guilty about pretending to be a Democrat while secretly cavorting with right-wing extremists? Except that right-wing extremists don't feel guilt, so you must be deciding whether you're going to ban Christmas first or just start strangling puppies as soon as you're elected, right?

Clayton said he talks with potential constituents at campaign events, where he assumes the photo was taken.

"I don't know where that pictures from actually. ... A lot of times when I'm interacting with voters, my visage will reflect the gravity of the situation."

In political circles, that's known as putting on one's serious face, which happens to be a classic technique of Republicans, especially the crazy ones.

Clayton denies all this, calling it "nonsense" and "exactly what's wrong with politics," which is exactly what you'd expect him to say. Do you think the wolf ever stopped insisting he was actually a sheep? Not until he'd eaten the entire flock, he didn't.

I had some equally damning questions for Leppert. For example:

Is it true that you once stood in front of a banner for ACORN, the radical left-wing election fraud outfit that, by the way, loves Al Franken and John Edwards, who, by the way, cheated on his wife when she was terminally ill with cancer?


Why are your eyes so big and pathetically sad looking in that one picture? Did fruity-liberal Tom get his feelings hurt?

And lastly:

When you laid out the red carpet for illegal immigrants in Dallas, was the red carpet real or metaphorical? If it was real, did you put it out on Interstate 35 E, or did the illegals take I-35 W to Fort Worth and pick up the red carpet on I-30?

But Liberal Leppert's campaign didn't return my call, so we'll just have to assume that he is indeed a communist. Phew. I'm thankful that "Dewhurst for Texas," which I can only assume is a disinterested coalition of average citizens, told me the real story before election day.