Someone at the F.B.I.'s Having Way Too Much Fun Naming Bank Robbers

This morning's New York Times heralds the debut of the F.B.I.'s Web site featuring the most-wanted bank robbers in New York and New Jersey. Of course, that's old news 'round these here parts: The bureau launched its first Bandit Tracker site in Dallas back in '07, and officials say it was responsible for the capture of the so-called Scarecrow Bandits. All the sites were created by a Carrollton-based company and serve as a sort of virtual post-office most-wanted wall -- not to mention a complete time-killer.

One thing the Times article doesn't address: Who at the bureau actually gives these bandits their nicknames? Like this fellow: Large and In Charge, wanted in conjunction with several bank robberies in Arlington and Las Colinas. And how'd this fellow from Fort Worth wind up with the moniker "My Wife is Being Held Hostage"? As it turns out, someone at the F.B.I. is pretty fond of the Inspector Gadget handle -- it's used for three different suspects. Spot-on-ish: Fort Worth's Billy Mays Bandit (that, sir, is quite the impressively fake beard) and the recently captured Max Headroom Bandit. Though I now suspect Gordon Keith is responsible for naming the suspects. Come on: Visual Aids Guy?