For the life of me, I can't remember what the word was that tripped me up. I just remember it was embarrassing because prior to taking my turn in the preliminary run of the trials for something that might have been the National Spelling Bee, I had been talking to the really cute boy sitting next me. I had lied, saying the last one of these things I competed in had gone well. Ha! Little did he know that pre-teen Lauren couldn't even pronounce her own name until she was six years old and saw a writing tutor once a week. Spelling? That was really far down the list of things my poor mother had to worry about in my education. I went out with that first. It was an easy one too, they always are the first turn. Knowing my luck, it was probably the word "elementary," or "Intelligent." I hid in the bathroom for a really long time after that.
Obviously everything turned out OK. A few years later, some gracious technology god invented spell check. But that sob story is why you'll find me in the audience at 7:30 p.m. next Thursday, Aug. 20 at the Dallas Observer
& Granada Theater's Spelling Bee, which will take place on the rooftop patio of Sundown at Granada. Local comic genius Paul Varghese will play host and I'm nominating Caroline North, our relentless copy editor, to compete for the paper. I'll be the lush in the back sipping beer to suppress my memories.
Think you've got the skills n-e-c-e-s-s-a-r-y? Sign up here
. Entry is free. There will be lots of awesome prizes, including a Deep Ellum Brewery gift basket that includes everything from gift cards to concert tickets, and -we're guessing- beer. That's almost tempting enough for me. T-e-m-t-ing. Fuck. CAROLINE! HELP!